Dancing in the moonlight

Currently listening to: Impromptus (4) for piano, D. 899 (Op. 90): Impromptu No. 3, Andante by Frank Schubert

I feel like someone is pulling both my eyes in the different direction. Weird? Or sick? More like horrid. No, its something more. Something more complicated and twisted. I just feel erm... well.... the current word would be morbid! Yes, morbid. I am morbid. But not in an ill way.

Have you feel so driven apart inside whereby you feel like there is another person living inside dying to burst out. I am not talking about esteem issues or "inner voices". More like dual personality. No, I am not mentally ill. It's just a hunch. A thought in my head.

Lately, I am just so driven apart inside. I just don't know who to be or how to act. And it seems like I can't choose or both sides just don't want me. And I end up being "nothing". Less than nothing. Like standing timeless in limbo. Numb. Not being able to get out. And as much as I detest so, I must confess I need help. I need you to pull me out. I need you to choose a side for me and have it accept me. For I can't accept it or neither, for I am "hollow".

Okay, now I sound like a sorrowful and emotional poet.

I am no drama queen (more of a solo backstage princess, lol). But sometimes I feel so much drama inside. Try portray a Chinese Opera performance going on endlessly in you. With all the mask, action, movement, drama and foul play. If you are a typical banana like me, then you would come to see that Chinese Opera is really complicating and hard to decifer! LOL, but I admire its art and beauty in everyway.

I can practically hear the "took took CHANG" inside my head. :P

In general reference, I am suppose to be in my "comfort zone" now. But I am far from comfort.

I need to snuggle in some strong and warm arms... Not wait, screw that.

What I need is a big teddy bear aka Santa Claus cuddle.

Too bad, santa claus doesnt exist. And there aint a giant real like teddy bear to comfort me.

So I shall hug my darling bolsters instead and dwell in its hugginess.

But now, I think I need a smooch. (LOL).

No, I need to smooch someone!

MUAHAHAHAHA!!! Hmm.....

How about a big fat and cute suckling baby with rambutan cheeks?

Yes...ehehe. But no, I might crush it. Cause I definitely will hug it too tight too.

LOL.

I think I shall just go and smooch Smoochiepup and cuddle Coriander.

And then dream of a handsome prince who would do so to me with love. :P

*Hug and be hugged!*

God bless!