Whispering voices in my head!

I am an idiot!!!

I am so not okay!

Naughty as a Fruitcake! :P

Currently Listening to: "She" by Elvis Costello. OST of Notting Hill. (Beautiful song :D)




Although there is less than 6 days to go, I am still kinda freaked out with the upcoming "deadline" of my 3 assignments. 6 days is sufficient but somehow I am kind of worried as I feel really lazy. Not to mention my procastinating bones have started to ache. Besides, I am still unsure of what to do exactly. -_-


Media Audience and the Public: A major case study review on Dove Beauty Campaign. Originally I was quite confident on this assignment as I was quite familiar with the Dove Beauty Campaign - due to previous study in Diploma. But now I am not sure of it at all. Firstly, I have yet to remember if I still kept the previous Diploma assignment in question and where I phantomly placed it. On the other hand, after viewing the assesment document on the assignment, my confidence level dropped to negative one. Reason being so was because I fail to comprehend the points to make let alone apply in class theories. Heck, I barely print out notes for lectures!


Documentary: It is just a 1000 word essay (yes, to us its actually little d - general one usually consist of 2000-3000 words) but consist of 25%! Now when you are in degree and every mark counts, 25% for a 1000 word assignment is critical.... meaning in just 1000 words, all essential points, theories and whatever the heck you dont know needs to be in it. In conclusion, NO CRAPPING LA! And guess what? I can actually crap for a 3000 word theory assginment (PR - last sem) and pass (hard but I managed - surprisingly) but now I feel fainty for this. And I actually thought Documentary was easy. I am suppose to start now but heck, here I am blogging my mind out!


Documentary Presentation: Awwww man... btw.. Yiang, Meng and Shennie... do u guys know where to get the study guide? Hahaha... cause we need that before anythig else. I think the presentation should be ok - group. But somehow tak tenang la....hahaha.


Did I mention all this three assignments deadline drops on the same day? On Friday!


And now... hati aku takde kat mana mana.... asyik tengok katil aje...
-_-


Let me tell you, crapping is easy, but sprouting thousands of words you're not sure of is the kill deal! Well, actually I am not entirely unsure of them. But somehow my SE level forbids me to think positively. However, the worrying and negative feedback my mind emmits does not help me in being more hardworking... So like what my bro said, worrying about something aint gonna help you solve it especially when it doesnt motivate you for sh*t! So either do or stop worrying... And I think subconciously I just picked "stop worrying".... cause my cracky head just managed to convinced me that because its a Sunday, I should just rest! :P


BTW,

Happy and a very Blessed Birthday to (Auntie) Wong Yee Li!

Miss you lots and lotsa love to ya!



*Hugs*

Touch Me With A Secret

I got tagged twice (Ash & Brenda) :)



First Tag (Ash):



A． People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse.
B． These 8 people must state who they were tagged by. Ash tagged me. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. Continue this game by sending this to 8 other people.

*
1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Seriously, I don't even want to think of it, I think I would be really devastated!


2. What will you do if you do not share the same feelings as the person who likes you?
Try not to give false hope, avoid nicely, make things clear? ignore? give big hints that Im not available...etc

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
Big cathedral in Italy with a big long gown (think Princess Diana's wedding with Prince Charles, but in a modern elegant way), a dozen flower girls/bridesmaids, a limo, all my friends and family (fly them all there :P) and of course with the dream guy! :D *fantasy over*

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Yes, I am after all a blur sotong...

5. What’s your ideal lover like?
Someone who doesnt exist: protective, obsessive (to me), possesive (to me), strong, funny, caring, kind, independant, smart, witty, responsible, handsome, amazing smile, crazy about me, loves me to the max, pervy (but only to me), persistant, knows me well, generous, tall, dark, secure, rich (???), looks into my soul, nurturing, admirable, ammiable, sexy, build, cute, talented, know what he's doing, gentleman, chilvary, loyal, steadfast, righteous, loving, thoughtful, creative, sensible ETC.... ok la... I am drooling d.... note the "ideal lover" ok! It's not real, just a fantasy...hehe! Read too much shoujo manga d!

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone else?
Loving someone - you'll know the real value of love... and thats the ultimate blessing! :)

7. If the person you like does not accept you, would you continue to wait for them to change their feelings?
Eeerrrr....hahahahahah!!!! Can I???? LOL....


8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
. If theTry to move on??????


9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy recently?
Yep, knowing how lazy I am procastinating with 3 assignments due soon.

10. What do you want most in life?
Fall in love, be loved, get married, have kids and live happily ever after! :D

11. Is being tagged fun?
I don't know, yes? I am just bored and its been sometime la.

12. If you find out that your best friend is going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, how would you react?
Walau! That would be the ultimate blow of devastation!

13. Who is currently the most important person to you?
family


14. What kind of person do you think I am?
Ash: the longest friend I have, smart, beautiful, talented, honest, a darling, a sweetheart, lovable, a treasure... :)


15. What is the most unforgettable thing/event in your life?
*smiles* its my secret...


16. If the person you secretly like cannot recognise you, what would you do/how would you react?
*smiles* just keep breathing...

17. Would you give your all in a relationship?
Is there anymore to do? :)

18. If you fall in love with two persons simultaneously, who would you pick?
You can't fall in love with two people... thats not love.... like can la... never happened to me before so I don't know. But if it happends, (liking both) I'll just see who likes me back :)


19. What type of friends do you like?
My friends lo... they are the type I like :)

20. If you played a prank on someone, and he/she fell for the trick, what would you do?

Laugh???? Apologise then... :P



I tag:



- Yiang

- Meng

- Daphne

- Shennie

- Brenda

- Jackie

- Michelle

- Jon

**********

Second Tag (Brenda):



Instructions: remove ONE question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 20 questions, then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged. whoever does the tag will have blessings from all.



1. who is your all-time inspiration?

Barbara Streisand... and my dad :)



2. have you given your first kiss away?

Truthfully, we all have! :)



3. if you were to be stranded on a deserted island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with you? why?

blog ar? hmmm.... ash, chao yi and sarah.... good people, can bond, can yakk together, responsible and i know they wont kill each other... (cari kawan must also see if they are compatible together)....



4. where is the place that you want to go the most?

egypt... :)



5. if you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?

*smiles* thats for me to know and for u to find out and grant it to me... :P



6. what do you like in your other half?

the essence that he is...



7. what are you afraid to lose the most now?

my loved ones!



8. if you win $1 million, what would you do?

lotsa things la... responsible things....hahaha... then later on travel the world!



9. if you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

Nope!!! Never putting myself out there anymore!



10. list out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

Brenda: Pretty, Sweet, Friendly...



11. what are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Some one who loves me 150% and whom I can love 120%



12. which type of person do you hate the most?

dishonest bitchy people!



13. what is your ambition?

be happy!



14. if you have faults, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?

i only want to know if ure doing it with a sincere and caring heart and only is I approve you to do so... :P



15. what do you think is the most important thing in your life?

God, family, love, friends, bunnies...



16. what's your secret?

its a secret so i can't tell you... :)



17. state one of your desire.

*smiles* thats my secret :D



18. if you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?

my temper.... very angry lately...



19. whats the last shocking thing you've seen or heard?

i just found out myself that philee tan can be a bitch and it scares me!



20. what do you wish to have now?

something i can type out here and not just "smile" it away...



I'm gonna tag:



- Ash

- Chao Yi

- Yiang

- Meng

- Elaine

- Michelle

- Daphne

- Jackie

A Rainbow of Smiles

Okay, birthday pictures are coming up. It's a fraction of what I have cause since there was too many, I've decided to just randomly upload some with a few nice ones. :) Just a little recap on what happened, on the eve of my brithday, had a big family dinner with my dad's side of the family. On the audacious day itself, out with college buddies to Tony Romas for a long and nice lunch in Cineleisure which later on carried to a 3 game bowling time. Another nice dinner with mum's side of the family later and voila the day is over! Nothing too much just simple meals with people who matter to me. :) Not many pressies (no party) but the existing ones are still really sweet and nice. More big ang paus instead this year (21 mar...) :)

Wanna thank those sweet and lovable people who remembered my birthday with wishes, smses, MSN-IMs, messages, comments, calls and greetings. You know who you are.... And most of them were unexpected but still glad to receive them none the less. :D

Okay, enough octoping. Here are some pics, no order in particular, no captions, no words, just "us".

I love you all!

God bless and huggies!

A Bed of Daisies

~24th March 2008~

Happy and Blessed 21st Birthday to Lim Shen Ling aka Shennie and me....

Wishing you the sweetest and merriest birthday with lotsa love and care.

God bless and big huggies to you!

Birthday cake ini, dedicate to you! :D

p/s: hope we'll have a blast at Tony Roma's later... :)

A Shadow of Tears

Tear away, so that I may find peace and rest....

I wept and I wept

I wept for sorrow to fade away

To drain this heart from night to day

To return my soul to its former gay

For love to once again find its way

I wept and I wept

Not a soul in witness

Nor a sound in silence

Just tears of sadness

With a heart of allegiance

~P~

The Tears Within

Don't cry little girl,

Don't cry.

Don't shed your tears,

Go on, wipe it dry.

Don't weep little girl,

Don't weep.

Don't sob a sniff,

Don't show you're weak.

Don't cry little girl,

Don't cry.

Keep it all in,

It will pass you by.

Don't be sad little girl,

Don't be sad.

Don't forget,

There are no regrets.

~P~

A Concerto of Smiles

Currently listening to: The Essential Barbara Streisand Album - First CD, Song no. 10: Happy Days Are Here Again.

Which I just bought today at MPH! I am so happy, wheee...!!! And it's only RM29.90! A normal original one would usually cost about RM49.90! And this is so much cheaper. But what's more fantastic here is that there's two CDs in it! With an average of 20 songs in each CD. What a good bargain! The last two-CD album I bought (Barbara Streisand) cost RM80! It was her end of the century Timeless Concert album (recorded LIVE in Times Square, New York on 31st December 1999 to 1st January 2000). I have no regrets purchasing an RM80 album then and I certainly have no regrets with this one too which is RM50 cheaper! I am so happy!! And most of it are my favourite songs! I love Barbara Streisand!

RM29.90 (usually RM49.90) + 2 CDs (usually 1 CD - cost almost RM50) + 20 songs per CD (usually 17 songs average per CD) + famous/favourite songs = Philee very happy and satisfied! 30 bucks well spent!

Now currently listening to: (Same album and CD) Song no. 15: The Way We Were

*Suddenly THE POTATO doesn't know what to blog anymore. Or perhaps the inspiration and mood flew out the window. Or maybe she is just too lazy. Or busy, in a foolish way mimicking Barbara Streisand singing in concert. :P

Okay, let's be random here:

- My birthday is swinging by soon and I still don't have the *oomph* in anticipating or even thinking about it! My soul feels mundane... someone, surprise me please! This year, its only makan and more makan... dinners with family and more family, lunches with friends and more friends. Makan and more MAKAN! Great right *sarcastic*? I get pudgier for my bday present. :P But then again, I am not complaining. Feed me people, FEED ME!

- Despite my passion for food. I've gotten more self control on food intake lately. :D And in a self absorb and prasan way, I feel lighter, lol. Will exercise more too. Not only because of the appearance sake, but I need to toughen up a bit. Reason.... (read next point)?

- I TRIED cycling one night (with my dad "coaching") which by the way I am still unable to (after so long - retarded I am on wheels). I struggled through from my house to almost the end of my housing street back and forth and literally almost passed out. I was sweating, it was tiring and I still could not cycle! Let me tell you, TRYING TO CYCLE IS A SPORT (retardly)!!! I might as well exercise and work out by TRYING to cycle. Lady Cabonara (my red bicycle) must be fustrated for me too. Which also bring me to the point that I am so "taufu"! Hal kecik macam ini pun I can't tahan, if I seriously ran a lap, I don't think I can survive it. Hence I need to buck up and move more. :P

Currently listening to: 2nd CD, Song no. 3: Comin' In And Out Of Your Life.

- I am so blur la... lazy too. I am worried bout my undone assignments but yet I do nothing about it. Case Study and presentation? What am I suppose to do again? *Bah!* Soon, they'll start piling up and I'll freak out. Besides, they're all due near my midterms too. Study soon??? *Please don't crack me up*

- I sleep like a vampire pig! Figure that out!

Currently listening to: (Same CD), Song no. 5: Papa Can You Hear Me?

- I am suppose to call many people up with many different reasons but yet I am procastinating like a "busy person" while I am kicking up my toes like a bee with no honey. It's sad when "takde hati" while other wait for you with theirs. I bore myself out. Heck, I even practise the piano a couple of times lately! I don't know what I am waiting for...

- I am so mundane.... So normal, so mediocre and so human. Special and unique I am. But in a normal way. Just like you, her, him and it. So fragile in life and so nonchalant. Like a by stander in the background of a movie. My movie. Now thats sad. I so need to wake up and pay attention!

Currently listening to: Song no. 7: Putting It Together

"If you can't get the rainbow, make your own rainbow!" - P

YouTube of the Day: StarWars according to a three year old :)

~Large and warm huggies to you!~

A Symphony of Dreams

Currently Listening to: Dreams to Dream by Cathy Cavadini.

Original Sountrack of An American Tail III.

What if you slept?

And what if, in your sleep, you dreamed?

And what if, in your dream, you went to heaven

And there plucked an strange and beautiful flower?

And what if, when you awoke, you had the flower in your hand?

Ah, what then?

~Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"Once I dreamed I was a butterfly, and now I no longer know whether I am Philee, who dreamed I was a butterfly, or whether I am a butterfly dreaming that I am Philee."

~ Adapted from Chuang Tzu

Smile Away the Tears

Hi, It's me again.

(Before you read this, make sure you read the previous entry)

I am posting 15 minutes after my previous post. Yes... indeed its fast. Why you may ask? Well, firstly you'd have to read my previous post in order to understand this one. The main story here is about my one day helium balloon named Horton Penguin Minnisque. I had to post this up asap due to a certain emotion that has just "got me" there and then. As stated previous entry, I would always let go of my (every one of them) helium balloon (s) before they go soft. So tonight, I took Horton down from my music stand (clipped there) and started to write my private message. Then, I proceeded to the porch to "perform" the tradition.

And there it goes.... I let it go.

And it slowly in a frightful way... flew up into sky like a wandering soul.

So lost, so fragile, so dainty....

I stood there in the porch, not letting my eyes off it, bending my neck backwards as I gaze to the "heavens" where my dear Horton was reaching for so aimlessly. And yes, my neck hurt very much back then, but somehow, I couldnt stop doing so. I watched it as it flew higher and higher, consumed by the dark veil of the night. It got smaller and smaller till my eyes could squint no more in gaze of it. I felt as if my heart flew with Horton. I couldnt take my eyes off it. I felt like a mother watching her child leaving her to a far away place, to a better place. It ached for a moment and I felt sad as I watched it disappear into the dark blue sky.

The feeling was soo.... I don't know. I haven't felt like this in a very long time. And despite my previous expression on my emotion then (mother & child analogy), I find it insufficient to depict my entire existence then. In which I so wholely felt standing there as I watch it fly away.

I wish, I dearly wish you could have experienced it with me. The moment Horton and I parted, I felt as if my soul churned to the skies and my heart wept in missing it.

Do I sound like a complete lunatic?
Perhaps I am. And I darely say I feel no shame to it.
For it was a beautiful feeling. Sad but beautiful.

If you've watched Desperate Housewives (cant remember which season was it), I hope you can recall an episode or a scene in where Gabrielle has a miscarriage. Soon then, he convict husband (Carlos) has his in-mate friend console her. The guy took Gabrielle to an open park and handed her a helium balloon, telling her to set it free. The balloon then represented her unborn child and how she had to let it go to move on (cause Gabrielle was in denial then).

This scene came to my head after Horton left my sight. No, I've never had a miscarriage before (LOL), but somehow... it felt sad in letting it go. Like it was something previous. Maybe because of what I wrote on Horton or maybe because of something else, something more.

But the moment, I saw Horton vanished in the deep "ceiling of life", my heart just.... *no word for it*

And now I wonder,
I wonder so much on where it is right now? Which star is watching over it? Is he (yes, btw, its a "he") afraid in loneliness and in the midst of darkness? Are the winds kind to him? Has he found his way?

Gosh, I miss him so much now I could cry...

Thought Out Loud:

When you see a girl helplessly "in love" with a helium balloon, you know either she's gone cuckoo or that the power of PMS is so great that humankind (or in this case, womenkind) takes an evolving leap in emotional life where limits holds no sky (which guys cant, bohoo!) :)

or

Maybe Horton and I did have something together... *sniff sniff*

******

This post is dedicated to Horton Penguin Minnisque. A beloved helium balloon and cherished "son".

~Lost but not forgotten~

I will always love and miss you....

I am sorry I had to let you go...

****Rest in Peace****

Canvas of Life

Currently Listening to: Yue Liang Tai Biao Wo De Xin (The Moon Represents My Heart) by David Tao.

Today's post will just be mainly on some randomness and happenings of the day.

My life today:

1# Had a nice and filling lunch at 1 Utama after college with Meng (Yiang had an orthodontic appointment, so couldn't go). We ate at Nippon Yataimura. Both of us had a nice bento each. Mine was tempura (as always) and he had pork mayo. :) No, no pics, cause my little craze of taking pictures of food has gone down the toilet. Now I just eat! :) We were suppose to have Gelato ice cream for dessert, but the bento really got to us and we ended up too bloated to have ice cream no matter how yummy it looked. We walked around and there was this new attration thingie with lotsa balloons everywhere!! Best part was, they were giving out free helium balloons!! MY FAVOURITE!!! So I had to get one (despite being ahemmm.... more than the required age), thanks to Meng. Since then, I felt really giddily happy. I just have this thing for helium balloons. :D I even took the liberty of naming it: Horton Penguin Minnisque!





As tradition goes (for me), after obtaining every helium balloon in my life, I will later set it free to the skies. It's just a thing for me, cause I find it depressing to see it small and frail in the morning when the helium has "habis". So I shall let it out later. But not before I write my secret message on it....hehe. Also a tradition for me. A good way of conveying secrets to nobody....wakakaka...


2# After 1U, I teman-ed Meng to Tesco to have his haircut. And as usual, Borders is always the place to go and hang. So I waited there with my "darling mangas". :) When I got home, I was super sleepy. So I decided to "throw" everything aside and just snooze like a pig. :) And guess what? I woke up several time in between because I had no peace!!! Mr. Moses's 4th assignment in the forum has yet to be done! Subconciously, my mind was reminding myself periodically like a maniac. Despite knowing the dateline was 12am and I had more then 6 hours to do it, I couldnt help being nervous and worried. I think it was because I wasn't sure of this assignment and I have yet to study to understand more. But after "procastinating" it through my nap, dinner, Koren drama and new manga (LOL), I managed to sit put on my chair and "scribble" it all through. So yeap, its done... hopefully good enough. :D


3# Suddenly, I am in no mood to blog about other details... :P Minor things that bug me now. So I guess a few random pics will do (lama I tak post pics d).

Pro Comm text book! I so should have photostated it instead. Rugi gila la!

Random: My messy bed...

Random: My messy table...

Random: My Ikea book cupboard. First row belongs to my babies (plushies), second, third, fourth and fifth are my comics (in and out), sixth row bears my ancient history, archeaology and egyptology encyclopedias and seventh row stores my files and music books. :)

Shoujo Manga section - Malay Version...

New handphone ornament, I just love it! So unique and cute. I named her "Alberquerque"

Super random: Just did them myself... For the fun of not cutting my toe nails. :P

My plushie collection. Many were presents, some are my precious, some souveniers, some can't be dispose off and some for the fun of it.

*********

Have a Blessed weekend and God bless!

~ Hugs!!! ~