Beneath the Storm

My new favourite song...




Storm by Lifehouse

How long have I
Been in this storm
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything will be alright
If I'd see you
The storminess will turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
And everything will be alright

I know you didn't
Bring me out here to drown
So why am I 10 feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything will be alright
If I see you
The storminess will turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright

And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright

I know everything is alright
Everything's alright

Within the Wind

Currently Listening to:

From The Inside Out

by

Hillsong.

The Potato realises that she has a tendency to be able to blog in the wee hours of the morning before a big event or trip (refer to previous posts for evidence). Don't ask me, I don't know why. It's 3AM in the morning and I am expected to 'rise and shine' in 3 hours time (6AM!) to get ready for Eaglepoint Damansara's first church camp in Genting View Resort (Praise the Lord for it!)! But here I am again unable to catch ZZZZ and resulting to put my midnight thoughts into virtual words

If you've noticed, the Potato has rarely blogged bout anything personal or private anymore. She used to go all emo on it (boy, when I read my previous blog, I can't help but blush!) and never fails to notify the entire cyber world (those who bother) of her petty little life musings and gaga-ness. But nope, not now anymore. At least not recently or lately. This must be the reason of her lack of updates. She has been so caught up with things; up and down, that she has gotten so weary and almost nonchalant to bother anymore. It's hard enough to sort and contain them properly inside her let alone being able to lay it out straight for the world to see. She guesses that when you grow up, when you encounter another phase or stage, things just change. You try to cope with the new stuff while balancing the old or finding wisdom to know if you should keep it. Is she just being complicated? Or just too plain to be comprehended

NOTE: If you find it hard to understand the language or phrasing of sentences, do excuse the Potato, she has not compose any writings lately and is somehow retardedly unsure of her English. Just fresh off 3 months after her last semester and her brain has already started to rust. How shameful of her. :P

I wish I could put the Potato to sleep.

She needs her sleep.

I need her to sleep.

But recently she's been going through this whole 'phase' whereby she only dozes of after tossing and turning in bed for hours, thinking of the most ridiculuous things and end up having nightmares of it

It's funny really, before this, she was hibernating like a log (after the recovery from the horrible illness couple of weeks ago) all the time and now she could barely remember how to sleep.

Waking up to lingering dreams (nightmares still?) of whatever the world holds for her then just ain't the cupcake starter of her day. No wonder she's a bit sotong lately. 'Otak takde centre'.

There are good days and there are days where they ain't.

But it's okay.

She's okay.

She will be okay.

She may be far from perfect. But she has a perfect God. :)

She just needs to stop dwelling in her weaknesses and start to rely on His stength instead.

I believe in You.

In Your promises in my life.

In Your love and goodness

Forgive me for ever doubting.

Dancing Sunshine :)

Currently Listening to:

Here I Am

by

Leona Lewis

OKAY....

I know it's been light years since I last blogged but hey sometimes life catches up with you and you just gotta deal with it. And I've dealt with it and hence the absence. :)

But also because some loving people who keeps pestering me to clear the cobwebs in my bloggie, tehee...

So where do I start?

What life has held me recently:

- Final of final exams
- Friends
- More friends
- Vacations
- Outings
- Meetings
- Sleepovers
- Makan to the MAX sessions
- Hang outs
- Movies
- Etc

Pretty busy somehow....tehee....

But most of all, God has been good in my life. :D

I have learned that by God being good in my life does not only meant that it is seen in His blessings, my happiness etc, but also in His grace, mercy, joy, perseverance and peace during hard times. The list above may seem nice (and yes, most of them are) but through them, heartbreaks, tears, suffering and pain drove by. I have to admit, I went through the toughest time in my life this very month. But it is through this time where I experience God the most in my life. I learn to surrender and to abide in Him and He delivered me, sustained me, helped me and comforted me. I knew it was Him for I know I wouldn't have made it without Him. I would have broken to pieces but here I am because He is so real in my life. He showered me with grace, peace, joy and rest despite my thundering storm and I know that my God is real and so awesome!

I've learned 2 very important things through this hard month, which was to:

TRUST AND OBEY

To Obey in His will and know that following Him is the right and best thing to do. Even when you don't feel like it, even when it breaks your heart, even when it is against all odds for when you choose to obey, God sees your heart and honours you back (ten fold). All you have to do is obey and His will will be done in your life (And His will/plan is ultimately the BEST). :)

"His will is not for your consideration but your obedience."

(Pastor Shawn Kong)

To Trust that He has the best interest (that is yet to come) for me, that He'll take care of everything, that He is sovereign and I shall not be left lacking. To trust that He will carry my burdens, my worries, my brokenness, and my past. That He will sustain me, provide, bless and love even when I am not at my best. To trust that as long as I obey, depend and faith in Him, it's all gonna be okay and even great too (trials may befall but the joy of the Lord will sustain me). :)

Though hardships are still not over and are bound to get worse, I want to learn to trust and obey in Him. Even when I can't feel Him, even when I can't see the hope and even when I feel like falling. Because ultimately I know that He is in control and that I can still smile and be joyful in Him. :)

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
(James 1:2-4)

I thank Him for His grace and mercy. I know He is prunning me now so that I can bloom.
And I will bloom for Him and His glory. :)

I shall update more soon.... hopefully. Tehee...

Have a blessed week and may the Lord shine upon you. :)

Under His Wings

The Potato is giving all praise and credit to the Lord God Almighty!!!
For He is worthy in everyway!!!

His faithfulness is awesome, His peace is so transending, And His grace is more than sufficient!

If you've read my previous post, you will know that I suffered a minor panic attact for a moment. Headache, urge to vomit, difficulty in breathing (more like hyperventilating), drumroll of hearbeats like mad and wanting to pass out...

It was not a nice experience. It was panic + scared to the max!

But in that dark hour, I cried out to Him. Surrendering all and just seeking Him for His grace and mercy.

And Lo' Behold!

His faithfulness became real. So real. So true.

I felt peace. Joy. And strength. All that was caging me before disolved and melted away. And suddenly I knew that it was not me, but Him.

It was an amazing moment.

The Lord was there, He was real and He showed me that it was going to be okay.

I am so blessed and thankful to have such an awesome God.

His faithfulness is beyond anything else!

Thank you Lord!!!!!!

The Light in my darkness

Currently Listening:

White Horse

by

Taylor Swift

I am so scared.

So so scared.

I feel like my lungs are tightening and choking my heart.

I can't breathe.

I want to scream.

I want to cry....

But I can't do anything.

I feel tired.

I feel sick.

I feel lost.

I feel so numb.

****

I need you Lord....

I know I am unworthy

But please take me in, do not abandon me.

Forgive me and give me peace for Your will.

Lead me to Your ways and strengthen my heart and faith in You.

The Petals of You....

Currently Listening to:

Endless Love

(OST: The Myth)

ADORED

That's the word.

To be regarded with loving admiration and devotion.

That word, that meaning, that feeling....

That's it.

I want to be ADORED.

by you....

:)

In the absence of the moon....

Currently Listening to:

Winner Takes It All

by

Il Divo

I feel like a ROTTEN POTATO....

Because

The POTATO feels ROTTEN....

Forgive me.

Please forgive me....

Dust and Me

Currently Listening to:

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart

by

Micheal Buble

Have you ever felt like days are just crumbling altogether on you and you're just so heavy and layden with mental anguish that breathing has just become a constant struggle? Where emotions can't be delivered coherently and you wonder if your own sanity is stalking you?

Well, sometimes I feel like that....

Non-existant matters start to jab me from every angle and I just can't seem to tell what's going on with myself. I'm not sure of my own character and nonchalant feelings are only an illusion to what my reluctant inner self tries to conceal. But what does it really harbour???

Let me tell you this, I don't really know myself nor do I really want to know.

I'm afraid to open a door and find that petty dust are all that adorns the wailing walls of it. Dust of memories, crumbling dust of thoughts, fine dust of hearty feelings and whimpering dust tears.

And I'm allergic to dust BIG TIME!

Do you know what I need? I need some quiet time - alone? I need to feel the wind on my face, the cool breeze to calm my soul and wintry scent to hide my aches. I need to cuddle with my bolsters and pretend that they were hugging me back. I need.... a hug.... :(

A big and long teddy-wuddy-grizzly-warm huggily cuddle. Preferbly from some bigger size (i need some security)-warm-comfortable-loving-caring human being.

*Self Aawwww....*

Where's my imaginary Mr.Tookie-tookie when I need him?

SMILE PEOPLE! JUST SMILE!

SMILE!!!!

Cause I need it.

Bittersweet Symphony

Currently Listening to:

I Still...

by

Backstreet Boys.

It's okay... It will be okay.

I promise...?

Living Waters

Through His grace

My Lord has not forsaken me.

It is by His grace that through my weaknesses, His power can be seen.

Emotions may crumble, feelings may rumble but I am not alone.

He was there.

He is here.

He will always be here and there.

Handling my feelings

Rest in the buds of May....

Currently Listening to:

At the Cross

by

Hillsong

only You....

Steps in my Leap....

Currently Listening to:

Someday We'll Know

by

Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman

When you let it go, it goes.

So be gone.

A Shade of Crimson Red

Currently Listening to:

Clair De Lune

by

Debussy



ARGH! I am growing with fustration over my current craze on Edward Cullen, Twilight the movie (I actually miss/rindu a movie!) and all of Stephenie Meyer books on the series! I wanna watch the movie again and I so wanna splurge like a mad junkie on the books (but still too 'kiam-siap' to do so)! :P

It's so 'beautiful' to feel the splendid-ness of a romantic soul again. It makes me want to believe that the splendor of mystery can and will happen. :)

O where is my Edward Cullen?

I'm so in an angau and lovey dovey mood!

P/S: Yiang, miss you la! Hang out soon k?! :)

When Doves Cry....

Currently Listening to:

Kissing You

by

Des'ree

Love theme of Romeo and Juliet (1996).

My current favourite song - jiwangness to the max! :P

Available on my blog's music playlist (first song).

I watched Romeo and Juliet (1996) today (for the gazilion-th time).

And for a moment, I felt 'magic' stirring in my heart again (after so long).

And before I knew it, she started tingling inside of me, beaconing me....

As if she had something to tell me.

That's when the wheel of dreams started churning within me.

And I began to remember what it felt like to want again....

When the stars go blue....

Currently Listening to:

At Last

by

Etta James

ANGAU OR BUMPED????

Please don't blow the summer wind away....

Currently Listening to:

Won't Let You Fall

by

Fergie

(OST: Poseidon)

I don't mean to be a MELODRAMATIC princess here but I mean every detail when I say that I am really having a tough week. More like tough month! But then again, this week is the worst.


Sick - have been for more than a week! (sore throat, flu, cough, phlegm, headaches) + endless stress + tiredness + group assignment meetings + campaign management major end project + TVC final assignment (CAN'T focus now!) + upcoming TVC final exam (YET to study!)+ very dried up = I NEED SOME SERIOUS LOVE!!!!




I don't really know how to handle stress well cause naturally I am not a stressful person nor do I get stressed easily (and usually I don't let it get to me). If you know me well, I'm basically a mellow person who does not take herself too seriously (in other words, I'm not a critical person - which is why I am always so smiley and cherry). Hence.... if I say I'm stressed, means its a big deal (for me at least) and I'm really cracking out!


Lord I need You!!! I needs Your peace, wisdom, understanding, knowledge, strength and joy. Take all that is ill and sick away from my body in Jesus name and grant me a clear mind to think for my studies.



p/s: To dearie Alexis Lim Ying Hui.... thank you for being such a blessing to me. Your care, encouragement and support sustained me through my trying moments. I'm so blessed to have you in my life. Heart ya lots!

Never An Absolution....

Currently Listening to:

And I Kiss Him

from

Pearl Harbour

(OST)

Suddenly, her heart felt so lost....

As if the winds of change have begun to churn, stripping all that was there....

Beautiful Soul

Currently Listening to:

Here In My Life

by

Hillsong United

"I miss my daddy...."

O the Jiwang-ness of Me!

Currently Listening to:

I Want To Spend My Life Time Loving You

by

Marc Anthony and Tina Arena

(OST: Zorro)

Idiot! Idiot! Idiot! (period!)

Dah la macam ni, nak jiwang lagi!?

(Freaking PMS!)

A Gentle Touch....

Currently Listening to:

When You Believe

by

Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey

(OST: Prince of Egypt)

I feel as if a trolley had just ramped my heart....

Ouch!