Beneath the Storm

My new favourite song...




Storm by Lifehouse

How long have I
Been in this storm
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything will be alright
If I'd see you
The storminess will turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright
And everything will be alright

I know you didn't
Bring me out here to drown
So why am I 10 feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything will be alright
If I see you
The storminess will turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright

And I will walk on water
You will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be alright

I know everything is alright
Everything's alright

God Bless the Broken Road

Broken by Lifehouse.
Original Soundtrack of the motion picture movie "The Time Traveler's Wife".





The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name
I find meaning
I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you

If you are broken, I know a Healer who can take away your pain, mend your wounds, repair your brokenness, fill your emptiness and make you whole again. Let me know, I'll love to introduce Him to you. He is always available. :)

Are you broken today?

Under His Wings

The Potato is giving all praise and credit to the Lord God Almighty!!!
For He is worthy in everyway!!!

His faithfulness is awesome, His peace is so transending, And His grace is more than sufficient!

If you've read my previous post, you will know that I suffered a minor panic attact for a moment. Headache, urge to vomit, difficulty in breathing (more like hyperventilating), drumroll of hearbeats like mad and wanting to pass out...

It was not a nice experience. It was panic + scared to the max!

But in that dark hour, I cried out to Him. Surrendering all and just seeking Him for His grace and mercy.

And Lo' Behold!

His faithfulness became real. So real. So true.

I felt peace. Joy. And strength. All that was caging me before disolved and melted away. And suddenly I knew that it was not me, but Him.

It was an amazing moment.

The Lord was there, He was real and He showed me that it was going to be okay.

I am so blessed and thankful to have such an awesome God.

His faithfulness is beyond anything else!

Thank you Lord!!!!!!

The Light in my darkness

Currently Listening:

White Horse

by

Taylor Swift

I am so scared.

So so scared.

I feel like my lungs are tightening and choking my heart.

I can't breathe.

I want to scream.

I want to cry....

But I can't do anything.

I feel tired.

I feel sick.

I feel lost.

I feel so numb.

****

I need you Lord....

I know I am unworthy

But please take me in, do not abandon me.

Forgive me and give me peace for Your will.

Lead me to Your ways and strengthen my heart and faith in You.

To infinity and beyond~!

Currently Listening to:

The buzzing sounds of KDU Square cafetaria at 8am in the morning.

It's the first day of my finals exams. The beginning of the end.

And here I am sitting here with my Princess Coconut laptop (need it to study, all my notes are softcopy!) trying to study for my upcoming Communication & Conflict Management final exam at 9am (an hours time). But alas! I am not studying, rather blogging my morning through as my head is neither here nor there.

I have not finished studying yet *screams* and yes I know it's an hour away, yet I feel so un-needed to do so. Am I plunging myself into a serious abyss of doom? Or am I just too over-mellow to realise that my neck is on the line for this exam?

I feel peace.

But yet my conciousness is screaming "You're dead!"

I am awfully terrified and yet feeling like my soul is flying to Candyland where the Candy Clown is welcoming me like sugar and butter before devouring me whole (watch IT?)

So I am 'chilling' now while knowing later I am 'doomed'!

Btw, note to self, great analogy, gotta use it often (lame I know).

I wanna scream help but at the same time know that I was in the process of 'cari mati sendiri' cause I am not studying!

And to make matters worse, I barely slept last nite. What did I do then?

Was trying and struggling to study!!!

I gave up bout 4am something and knock myself dead on the bed and then started to realise half way through that I kept waking up non-stop cause my mind was just too worried and gila to sleep. Now ladies and gentleman, sleeping has never been a problem for me before. Even during past exams, I slept like a rock, nay, like a grizzly bear during winter!

But now, all I can think about is the exam and how to study for it (which I am still failing to do now). It's like I am so conflicted and pulled-apart! Argh! So drama! :P

Okay, I think I gtg now. Need to try to study and pray!

"Lord I submit today's paper to You. Let it be Thy will. Forgive me for my sins of laziness, procastination and disobediance. Thank you for Your forgiveness, love, grace and mercy. I am Yours. Grant me the spirit of wisdom, understanding and knowledge. Bless me with a peace of mind and an attentive spirit. Go ahead of me and may Your favour be upon me. I commit my exams unto You in Jesus's name, Amen!" :D

In this Path....

No turning back....

In the absence of the moon....

Currently Listening to:

Winner Takes It All

by

Il Divo

I feel like a ROTTEN POTATO....

Because

The POTATO feels ROTTEN....

Forgive me.

Please forgive me....

Bittersweet Symphony

Currently Listening to:

I Still...

by

Backstreet Boys.

It's okay... It will be okay.

I promise...?

Break Me Into Pieces....

Currently Listening to: I Think I Love You

(OST: Full House)

Life can be a turbulent ride even when all seems fine.

Ain't it peculiar?

How a normal boring and mundane day can churn so many things inside you?

How those many things can affect you ever so heavily eventhough it may be small in measurements?

Maybe it's because you're free and somewhat empty inside that even a drop of pin is audible?

Is this all just a plain.... *can't find the right word for this feeling*?

*BREATHES IN AND OUT!!!!*

I don't like it. I don't like this sucky feeling. This "argh" motion in me.



Maybe some things are just catching up.... Don't you hate it when you're not perfect?

I need my Saviour...!!!!

Life's a ball of butter!

Have you ever experienced those days where you have a zillion feelings, emotions, words and desires caught up inside of you but can't do anything to express it? Where it all just clusters and jumbles in and out of your head and storms the pit of your stomach like a hurricane in a balister? And all you can do is stay numbly stagnant where ever you are and fight the battle silently inside?

Have you?

I bet you have... in a manner of speaking.

We all have.

Sometimes, we pretend it's all okay and try to fix it and sometimes we RIP it all out to the world.

But sometimes, we just stay there and let it make the worse out of us. And we become something else.

Something entirely different....

I'm the bunny on the moon!

YOU'RE AN IDIOT!!!

When you choose a liability over an asset, you're an idiot.

When you expect something out of liability, you're an idiot.

When you wait on a liability, you're an idiot.

When you believe in a liability, you're an idiot.

When you trust a liability, you're an idiot.

When you invest in a liability, you're an idiot.

When you defend a liability, you're an idiot.

When you care for a liability, you're an idiot.

When you make a liability matter, you're an idiot.

When you love a liability, you're an idiot.

When you're sitting here, in your baby tee and shorts along with your old worn out comfy cardigan and drop down gangling hair at 3am, blogging out of idiocrisy, you know that you're a big time idiot!

It's random, it's idiotic and it's just me now... but it's ok, cause I'm an idiot!

And so are all you people! You're a whole bunch of idiots!!! Yup, you heard me, IDIOTS!

IDIOTS!!!

Dear friend....

The truth is....

That's true... you do. And it is not your "fault" :P You just have this thing on me....

There was this Sunday morning not too long ago (and not too present) where I walked into church and people started asking me what was it with my goofy and big grin I had on my face. The truth is, I didn't I didn't know that I was acting so for no reason.

Untill I found out that the reason for it was you....

And you're not really that funny of a person to me. :P

I guess we all have certain sunshines in our life, I guess you were one of it. :)

But I guess you can't control "ever" can you?

But thank you being there in my life.....

I guess I lost a lot of 60 seconds of happiness. But I guess I gotta start to try to change it....

So I try....

And I never regretted may things in the past, actions, words and meanings.
I only regret not being able to talk to you for one last time, to "close" it and to tell you everything I had stored up in my heart.
I regret all the unspoken words that means so much to me.
But I guess it ain't meant to be said?
That's the regret I have.
That I couldn't tell you what mattered to me most and just let let you walk so far away....

And I never regretted having you in my life.... :)

You have always brightened my days :) But I guess I have to learn and try to do it on my own now. I hope your days will be very much brightened by God's grace and blessings from now on. I pray you will have many sunshines in your life ahead...

The truth is:

P/S: Everyone who is raising an eyebrow here, thinking what-I-know-you-are-thinking, judging, sighing, thinking-what-should-I-do and think-you-know-everything.....
BUZZ OFF PLEASE!!!

This is my blog and I will do as I please, I appreciate everything done by you people - for the goodness of "someone" else. But I am going through a tough time myself and trying to cope in an understanding way, so don't judge me when you don't know me at all. I agreed to go along with "it" and back off (and it will be done), but that doesn't mean I have to do everything you say from then on. I live my own life and I will do what is necessery in my own way and in my own time. And I WILL be fine, THANK YOU for "caring".
I am NOT a robot!