Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Within the Wind




Currently Listening to:
From The Inside Out
by
Hillsong.




The Potato realises that she has a tendency to be able to blog in the wee hours of the morning before a big event or trip (refer to previous posts for evidence). Don't ask me, I don't know why. It's 3AM in the morning and I am expected to 'rise and shine' in 3 hours time (6AM!) to get ready for Eaglepoint Damansara's first church camp in Genting View Resort (Praise the Lord for it!)! But here I am again unable to catch ZZZZ and resulting to put my midnight thoughts into virtual words

If you've noticed, the Potato has rarely blogged bout anything personal or private anymore. She used to go all emo on it (boy, when I read my previous blog, I can't help but blush!) and never fails to notify the entire cyber world (those who bother) of her petty little life musings and gaga-ness. But nope, not now anymore. At least not recently or lately. This must be the reason of her lack of updates. She has been so caught up with things; up and down, that she has gotten so weary and almost nonchalant to bother anymore. It's hard enough to sort and contain them properly inside her let alone being able to lay it out straight for the world to see. She guesses that when you grow up, when you encounter another phase or stage, things just change. You try to cope with the new stuff while balancing the old or finding wisdom to know if you should keep it. Is she just being complicated? Or just too plain to be comprehended

NOTE: If you find it hard to understand the language or phrasing of sentences, do excuse the Potato, she has not compose any writings lately and is somehow retardedly unsure of her English. Just fresh off 3 months after her last semester and her brain has already started to rust. How shameful of her. :P

I wish I could put the Potato to sleep.

She needs her sleep.

I need her to sleep.

But recently she's been going through this whole 'phase' whereby she only dozes of after tossing and turning in bed for hours, thinking of the most ridiculuous things and end up having nightmares of it

It's funny really, before this, she was hibernating like a log (after the recovery from the horrible illness couple of weeks ago) all the time and now she could barely remember how to sleep.

Waking up to lingering dreams (nightmares still?) of whatever the world holds for her then just ain't the cupcake starter of her day. No wonder she's a bit sotong lately. 'Otak takde centre'.

There are good days and there are days where they ain't.

But it's okay.

She's okay.

She will be okay.

She may be far from perfect. But she has a perfect God. :)

She just needs to stop dwelling in her weaknesses and start to rely on His stength instead.

I believe in You.
In Your promises in my life.
In Your love and goodness
Forgive me for ever doubting.


Thursday, August 27, 2009

Blooming Daisies on my Stool



Currently Listening to:
Hard Knock Life
from the musical
Annie
by
PLAY
(version).




I could almost lick the virtual cobwebs off my blog. It's been almost a month? Or more? You do the math. I apologise. Moi was quite busy with travelling, being sick and growing the pig in me! :)

A little update:


- July: Vacation to to Indo (1 week), Vietnam (1 week) and Kuching (1 week). Being on Air Asia plane 6 times a month (through and flow) is no joke. I can practically memorize their song list (all the same songs for every flight!) and menu. Wait, scratch that, 5 times only. My flight to Indo was MAS, hehe.

My last post was on departure to Vietnam. Well, that was a very nice trip, MAYBE I'll blog about it, hehe. Depends really. Pictures in facebook lo. Then it was us girls to Kuching, home of darling Carissa sweetheart. Her family was so hospitable and nice! Pics in FB, other than that, I might blog about it, hehe. I shall try. Lotsa pics and stories and I just don't know where to begin. :)

- Back from all the travelling, the Potato fell terrribly ill. For a week. Long story, but to cut it short, it was no fun! :P

- Erm... lots to say really. But much of it is either too long or too private or just not in the right words to be said.

Bacially, it's been a rollercoaster. When my days are calm, somehow I'm not. It's just this irony I'm dealing with.

Will blog of it... maybe. Better not hope on it. I'm not sure of anything now myself.

One thing I'm sure is God is good and I'm okay or will be okay.


Have a nice day and God bless. :D






Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Light in my darkness


Currently Listening:
White Horse
by
Taylor Swift




I am so scared.

So so scared.

I feel like my lungs are tightening and choking my heart.

I can't breathe.

I want to scream.

I want to cry....

But I can't do anything.

I feel tired.

I feel sick.

I feel lost.

I feel so numb.

****


I need you Lord....


I know I am unworthy


But please take me in, do not abandon me.


Forgive me and give me peace for Your will.


Lead me to Your ways and strengthen my heart and faith in You.





Wednesday, April 1, 2009

In the absence of the moon....




Currently Listening to:
Winner Takes It All
by
Il Divo



I feel like a ROTTEN POTATO....

Because

The POTATO feels ROTTEN....

Forgive me.

Please forgive me....


Saturday, March 28, 2009

Night Rainbow....



Currently Listening to:
One Tree Hill;
Season 6,
Episode 18



The Potato is glad and proud to have observed Earth Hour with daddy and mummy~! :D


I know there are many cynical and skeptical people out there who thinks this is a stupid and useless thing.... But what they don't see is the bigger picture of it.

The bigger picture where the world, people, citizens (all different in their own way) stand united for a good course. To make a statement and to make a difference. And yes, one dark house can make a difference. For you bear a testimony to the world and you made a stand.


"A single grain of sand can tip the scale and one man can be the difference between victory and defeat." ~ Emperor of China, Mulan.


It is about a change of mind, a mentality, a mindset, to become a civilised world. To move on to a more advance way of life where we care not only about ourselves bout also for the future of others. :)

So, if you're making a stand, be it for or against, do think, is it's for a bigger picture? A bigger course? A bigger vision? A bigger mind? A bigger world? Or some form of selfishness?


Because you can make a difference.
So stand out and stand loud! :D


"It's okay to be the one person to try to make a difference in the world. Cause sometimes all it takes, is one person to change the world". :)
~ Philee ~

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

At the end of my rainbow....



Currently Listening:
Through the Rain
by
Mariah Carey




Today, someone told me that I was positive!

I know that some of my previous post might contest that (emo times - pms la), but if you know me, I am naturaly a cherry bubble who likes to smile and talk rainbows all the time.

But sometimes I tend to 'forget' that... (especially when I'm emotional or stressed - busy week la)

But when someone commented about a moment of my so-called character today, I was reminded of who I truly was. Someone I've forgotten lately and it hit me that I was once the girl who still smiled when her tears knew no end.

So I'm gonna hold my head up high and brace through whatever it may come with a smile and a cherry thought. :)

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."
~ Herm Albright~

Have a blessed and wonderful day people! :D



Sunday, January 25, 2009

Twilight



Currently Listening to:
To the ends of the earth
by
Hillsong



.... and lately I just keep thinking.
Or is it thinking that is keeping me...?




Sunday, January 18, 2009

Skipping Petals...



Currently Listening to:
Keranamu Kekasih
by
Vince Chong
(OST: Puteri Gunung Ledang)




Do your man some good... :)

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Steps in my Leap....


Currently Listening to:
Someday We'll Know
by
Mandy Moore and Jonathan Foreman




When you let it go, it goes.
So be gone.


Friday, January 9, 2009

Believing is Seeing



Currently Listening to:
With All I Am (Jesus I Believe)
by
Hillsong


Strengthen my faith in You my Lord and let me be a testimony for Your glory. Forgive me for my transgressions (thoughts and actions) and deliver me from temptation. Hold me steadfast in You and equip me with ur armour of words. Let not my pride covet my eyes but fill me with wisdom to see Thy will. Come and changed me so that I may be pleasing to you. Use me dear Father and may my lips speak words of praise to you till the end of my days. Cast my fears aside and strengthen my foundation in You. Give me the burden in my heart to love and to seek Thy word and will. Let me not be man concious but God concious. Break my heart Lord so that I may surrender to You not myself. Amen.

I believe that my God is a good God. An awesome God. A loving God. A forgiving God. A great God and an amazing One.

I shall wait on Him for I know He is always there. Always there in my toughest storm. Always there in the silence of the darkness. Always there in every one of my tears. Always there in the sweetest of my joys... He's there.


I BELIEVE IN JESUS! I DO! I DO!!!!

and may my actions, purpose and life scream it way louder than my spoken words.

Monday, September 15, 2008

A Parasol of Sweetness


Currently Listening to:
Elegie 'O Douz Printemps d' Auterfoix
by
Joshua Bell


"I had a cherry thought of you...."

Rainbow Skip With Me!



Currently Reading: Kare First Love by Miyasaka Kaho and Wild Ones by Fujiwara Kiyo.

Currently Watching: The Return of the Condor Hero (2006)

Currently Listeningto: Sarabande by Gabriel Montero

Currently Thinking: About my TV programs tonight while TRYING to figure out when am I going to start my Campaign Management assignment on a 2000 word essay about professionalism ethics in PR- or even begin reading the notes to prepare for it.

Currently Feeling: Lazy, heavy, bloated, relaxed, mellow, somewhat joyful, positive and hopeful. :)

Currently Wondering: "If you're alright and well..."

Currently Hoping: That I'll do well in my studies or at least in tonight's assignment (aiya, I've totally decided subconciously to do it tonight already... guess I'll just have to enjoy my afternoon then :P).

Currently Wishing: "Semoga semua sentiasa sihat dan gembira!"


p/s: HAPPY AND BLESSED 20TH BIRTHDAY JUN!!!! :D

Friday, September 12, 2008

Stardust....


Currently Listening to:
No Greater Love
by
Rachel Lampa


"I'm okay.... right???"

"Are you?"


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

A Distant Heart....


Currently Listening to:
Never An Absolution
(OST: Titanic)

"Please don't fly away...."

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Torns in my head!


Currently Listening to: Because I'm A Girl by Kiss



Squeeze me please!!!

End my agony....


Monday, August 25, 2008

Dreams to Dreams....


Currently Listening to:
You'll Be In My Heart
by
Phil Collins
(OST: Disney Original Movie: Tarzan)




"What'cha gotta say??"


Sunday, August 24, 2008

A Bouquet of Wild Daisies

Currently Listening to: Lahaina by The Volcanos (Lilo and Stitch: Island Favourites)


I am blogging again.... yeap. What can I say? It's gotta be PMS or that I am just so freakingly bored and lame. But who cares, sick people have all the time of the day when they not sleeping their heads off. I still can't bring myself to have the motion to blog about my 5th day in Cambodia. Maybe I am still lazy in editing and uploading the pictures but I hope I'll finish it when the 'Strawberry storm' has past.

I feel kinda emo and self concious lately. And yes, you all must know PMS is my constant shadow lately. And maybe that's why my sense of sensitivity has ascended majorly. And I can't help feeling like a pregnant woman with lotsa hormones. I start to get over upset for the tiniest things and tend to over-react inside with over thinking of problems that doesnt exist or shouldn't be. It sucks. A lot. So guys, love your girlfriends more and know you're not the only one suffering and facing the annoyance of PMS (when they throw bitch-fits). It's just the hormones and just so you know, it's what drives you crazy over them too. So all is fair.

Looks like I am going to be on problematic future girlfriend huh? Tehee.... let's hope I will be blessed with one super understanding and loving boyfriend to tolerate me then. LOL!

I despise PMS... it's a 'rotten pumpkin' and I am a constant slave to it... Can't imagine how I'll be when I'm pregnant instead. LOL! Note to self in 5 years time (5 years? who am I kidding?)... Love my husband MORE (Please let me be married then!!! - again, who am I kidding? :P)! LOL!

I am so craving for seaweed now... lotsa crispy Korean or Japanese seaweed... Hmmm mmm...!

Soup too, lotsa nice sweet seaweed soup.... like the one my granny makes. My mouth or should I be more specific, throat; is tasting like some weird stinking anti-biotic and I seriously need some ajinamoto...LOL!

I just finished watching Grey's Anatomy and Cashmere Mafia and it was great, love it. Totally superb for a PMS night and it got me all high up and preppy thinking that I might have a chance of making my life into a soap opera. But hey, all I'm lacking if a McDreamy of a boyfriend and a Cashmere coat... or maybe just some elegance in my life.

I think I kinda sound like a sour drama queen. Maybe so, but just for this moment. For once, I wanna bask in my own prima donna-ness... so sue me! But then again, I have this icky feeling that the whole world already hates me for some bitchy reason. :P PMS? You tell me...



You know what I want? What I really really want?

I want someone I can securely cuddle up to and leave all my stuffs behind. Someone who'll give me enough comfort to strip away all my insecurities and just let me be myself wholely in his arms. Someone who knows me, understands me, holds no judgement against me, accepts me and just truly loves me. And me to him. Someone like my.....

























































my hubby bubby pink bolster!!!!!! :D

Yeap, that's my sayang... for now.
And someday, God's gonna bless me with a real man instead. :)
And I shall wait for that beautiful day to come. :D

"....and then, her PMS just faded away for the night, in sweet thought of His promise to her."

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

The Souls of Butterflies



Jellos and bellos. A little annoying report here... a minute ago, 'someone' tak tahu siapa la called me (no name) and when I answered, 'it' (the person) didn't answer nor said anything and then later on hung up. I thought "whatever la" and didn't bother. And then the same annoying number smsed and started talking like kawan. And immediatly, I knew 'it' was some random person with no life who decides to find a 'friend' through random number calling. -_- I despise those kind of people! This is so not the first time. The first time however was worst (and also because I apa pun tak tahu that I layan je). It was during Diploma time when Mdm Yiang and I was shopping at 1 Utama. I had this random phone call from dunno what marketting person yada yada. "It" started asking me questions and blindly I answered (how stupdily 'professional' can I be??) - and before I noticed, macam giving out my personal details (of course not everything la - and I only gave vague answers). When I noticed how pointless the conversation was (at that point I didnt know I was being fooled), I politely decline whatever it was yada yada and tried to get off the phone. That person refused to 'let go' and me being the soft and pushover beancurd then, could only keep politely declining like an idiot (later on only did I know that being polite is what people usually take advantage off). So anyway (back to the story), the person in the end managed to get off the phone (at that time I was still so stupid and gutless to hang up rudely) and you know what 'it' said? "I'll call you tonight"( -_-") At that time, I knew it was no business/survey thingie call (slow right me?) and got pissed at myself for 'entertaining' someone so gila. Anyway, I didn't bother la till that very night about 11pm something that that same number called. Of course my stupidity then wasn't really that bad so hence I obviously didn't bother picking it up. I told my parents about it ended up getting 'lashed' fir being so 'dumb'. Hahahaha.... and all the while I thought I was being a polite and nice person. But I guess the rest of the world isn't.

Gosh, I've whinned and crapped so much bout the random phone call thingie that I forgot that I'm suppose to blog bout part 2 of day 4. :P Hehehe, before that, I would like to apologise if some of you are disturbed by the morbit-ness of the torture pics (got several nudges on it). I noticed some do not have the stomach for it and it's ok and very natural as well. The reason why I took and posted those pics wasn't for any simple reason. Yes, every other tourists then were taking photo of the pics, but what compelled me to do so was because I realised that it wasn't just cruel and horrible but it was something more. If you're in my generation (which I presume most of you are), I am pretty sure you've not seen war, tremendous physical pain, abuse, torture and tragedy. Maybe you've had bad times but I am sure nothing of the sort that happened in Cambodia (not even during the Japanese Occupation). What I saw there made me realised that we are freaking blessed to live here in Malaysia with peace and freedom. Sure, Malaysia is not perfect but it's way better than many countries and a beautiful one at it (it's just that our politic sucks, that's all). And by realising, I think we've yet to see what's really out there and how bad it could be. 9 out of 10 people, do not know or have any knowledge of the mass genocide in Cambodia. Yes, because we are so priviledge and blessed (and there's nothing wrong with that). I confess that I didn't know a thing till I went there and since I do now, I think it is a right thing to spread the word and tell people that such tyranny and malicious time had once past. And that millions of innocent Cambodians were tortured and murdered (and should not go unnoticed). Posting severe pictures serves to show and remind people that such incident once too place. To let the people and world know that this genocide should never repeat again (which is why the museum took no hesitation is posting up so many morbit pictures). For if the museum and pictures did not exist, 50 or more years from now (when the older has gone) when the new has come and have no knowledge of it and may just repeat such. It serves to remind others of the victim's suffering and that mankind should never neglect compassion and cruelty can not and shall not prevail. So people, be grateful with your life and always be kind of others! :)

I'm suppose to blog about Choeungek Genocidal Centre today... but then I realised that I left a few pictures out (different section) and forgot to post them up previously on Toulseng Genocide Museum. So hence, I shall continue it and then only go on with the Choeungek Centre later in this entry. This post will not be as morbit as the previous one (no worries, no disturbing pictures) but still sad none the less. So please take time browsing, enlarging and reading the 'pics'... :)

Day 4 in Cambodia (Part 2): Continuation of Toulseng Genocide Museum Tour and visit to Choeungek Genocide Centre (Kiling Fields).


The next building in the school.... Note, if you look properly (and if you can't, click to enlarge), this building is 'enveloped' with spikey wires. This is because this particular building is a temporary jail and the wires are used to prevent victims from escaping and jumping off.

Their tiny cells... Looks easy and simple... but then again, the victims would be too severely injured to even 'breakthrough'.
The brick jail section...

The wooden jail section..


At last a pic of me then... (in the cell):P Because it was a 'sad' place, I barely took any pics of us inside....
The skull exhibition... This is a very small display of the victim's skulls (compared to Choeungek Centre).

It shows that the skull depicts signs of severe injuries....

And then later on we took a half an hour ride of tuk tuk to Choeungek Genocide Centre which is widely known as 'Killing Fields'. This is the place where the tortured victims at the Toulseng was taken and brutally killed before mass burried.


This whole building here was built to contain thousands of skulls of the victims from the graveyard excavation...

The sign outside the monument...
The skulls of victims.... And these are only a fraction of the millions of victims murdered.

After that, we walked around the place to see the mass graveyards.... It was sad as the victims were killed, they were just dumped in a big hole and burried together...
The sign here says...
"Mass Grave of 450 Victims"

Click to read and view more intamately.
If not the sign there says...
"Mass Grave of 166 Victims Without Heads"
And the grave here really nudged my heart... It says:
"Mass Grave of more than 100 victims children and women whose majority were naked"
I suppose those women were most likely raped before killed and burried... And it was horrible.
It says "Killing tree against which executioners beat chilren"
How it was done is that the cruel executioner would hold the leg of the infant and slam or whack the child unto the tree to kill it. It was terrible and this tree was next to that grave (previously shown). So after beating dead each child, they would just throw it into the grave hole next to it... When I heard about it, disgust ran through my veins just by looking at the tree.
This is a different tree. Please click to enlarge and read... (kinda malas to type it down) :P

Also please read...

*********
After that, we continued with our program and went shopping at the famous 'Dome' Central Market. Yes, it's a little untasteful to go shopping after witnessing all that, but it was part of the tour so just ikut... and errr... buy lotsa stuff??? :P

Inside the Dome Market... lotsa jewelries...

How it is outside...


*^*^*^*

Okay, I'm done with day 4...Yeah! Thank you for taking you precious time in reading and viewing this entry. I hope the posts of day 4 has made a difference and gave you a clearer view on life and that we should always install love where ever we are and be grateful for each blessings and smiles.

God bless!

Hugs!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

A Tender Touch



Currently Listening to:
Someday My Prince Will Come
(From: Snow White)
by
Barbara Streisand




HEY YOU!!!