The blooming hydrangea is always in the rain....

"People who are strong are never without wounds."

Weaklings will run away before they get hurt.

But those who are strong, the depths of their wounds will increase with their strength.

Facing you, that was the strength I was allowed. But....

And I want to tear it down and tend to your wounds....

A little blessing....

Happy and Sweet Lantern/Mooncake Festival 2007!

But since - can't remember when - I stopped celebrating it. More like since me and my cousins have grown up, we stopped playing with lanterns and candles.

I remember me, koko, Jenny and Kelvin used to "celebrate" it at granny's. Girls playing with the lanterns and boys playing with the candles - more like fire :P

It used to be fun, pretending to walk in the dark holding the lantern and flashing it around. I used to have many of them, granny would always get us one each of our choice. And I remembered she got Jenny and me Sailor Mars (only that particular sailor) once. And since we were then very much crazy about Sailormoon then, we treasured it to the max.

And then we grew out of it. Times passes like a candle in the wind. And after several years, I don't even know when would the Lantern Festival take place. The only sign I have was the upcoming sale of mooncakes - which I didnt even like eating at all.

I sit here in my cold air-conditioned room typing along as I speak inwardly to myself. And I begin to wonder on this very day, what is it that drives me to think of it? To remember it? To acknowledge it? Why now? On this very day itself?

Was it because of the fond childhood memories with my brother and cousins along with the love of my grandmother? Maybe so? But there was something more. Something that touched my heart in the smallest but warmest way.

Then it hit me, some old and small fragments of the past. Memories that never did die.

I once remember not too long ago, back when this festival meant nothing to me (aside from the childhood memories).

A couple of years ago, I told this (lantern festival thingie) to a friend. It was nothing special or to remember in particular then, but several days later, she showed up at the parking lot of my old apartment and handed me something wrapped up in a white plastic bag.

I opened it to find this rabbit shapped lantern (with a keychain of my birth date).

I could not remember the last time I had a lantern. It was aeons ago. And somehow getting one out of the blue was just more than a pleasant surprise.

And it just blew me away then with warmth and happiness. It seemed like a small present but somehow it meant so much. I could almost feel the token of heart in it.

And the small moment, thought, present, care and heart meant so much.

It's amazing how something so simple can be a blessing to one's life.

And I guess that's what made me remember today. :)

And eventhough I have not seen or heard from her in a long time and she's far away and may have forgotten me, that small gift gave me one of the warmest and sweetest memory I have with this Lantern Festival.

That's the lantern.

The only one I've kept after all these years.

Errrr... the "SWEET LOVE" heart-shapped thingie is not of any romatic purposes, lol. My mum gaved it to me on Valentine's Day (yes, true - cause I no Valentine ma, she took pity on me, lol) and my maid just hung it there cause it kept dropping from my violin stand (where I originally hung it).

I hope you have a pleasant memory for the Lantern Festival.

God bless and *huggies*

For you....

Do you know how it feels to LOVE people who "hate" you?!

To put up with their imperfections while they condemn yours?!

To protect them even they leave you alone?!

To smile at them when they frown at you?!

To cherish them when they forsake you?!

To lift their hearts up while they sink yours?!

To miss them when they don't bother about you?!

To stand up for them, when they betray you?!

To heal their wounds when they injure you?!

To care for their hearts when they break yours?!

But it's okay, really.

I just want them to be happy....

"Because I LOVE THEM!"

LOVE is unconditional, it requires nothing in return.

Every act is filled with joy and every care is from the heart.

Every thought is enveloped with peace and every smile without regrets.

"What comes from the heart, goes to the heart."

(even if it takes a lifetime)

FIGHT?!

Do I have what it takes????????!!!!!!
To do it all alone till the end?!

"It's now what you have, but what you believe in."

Till death then!!!

Cleanse me...

I am sorry Lord Jesus for the things I have done and the things I have not done. Cleanse me Lord of my sins and change me over to be a better vessel for you. Strengthen my heart and give me perseverance to endure hardships and temptations. Grant me a peace of mind in times of turmoil and joy in the midst of sorrow. Forgive me of my sins and help me to forgive those who have sinned against me. Relieve me of my worries and help me to concentrate on Your glory and will. Grant me the strength to stand up to injustice, the voice to speak for those who cant speak for themselves and wisdom to know who they are. Strip me of my selfishness and give me a kind and open heart for Your children. Let not my past cloud my future but cleanse me of my old guilt and give me a fresh start in You. Grant me a submissive and serving heart to You and wash me off satan's lies and deceit. Give me a heart of worship for You again and let me sing Your praises forevermore. Let not this passion for You die but let it burn like a beacon unto the lost so that I may glorify You. Supress my pride and humble my heart for Your glory. Give me courage and anointing to spread Your love and glory unto others. Let me not be man concious but God concious. Open up my heart not only to love others more but to love You more too and to make You the first in me. Help me to see the beauty of others and accept their flaws. Install patience in me that I may see and understand the pain and suffering of others. Forgive me Lord, for my imperfections and humanly sins. Grant me Lord a heart of repentance and the willingness to change for Your will. Grant me the obediance for Your will and the faith to persevere.

I believe in the God Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth.
I believe in Jesus Christ, His only son our Lord who was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary.
Suffered under Pontious Pilate, was crucified, died and was buried.
Descendened into hell and on the third day He rose again,
Ascended into heaven and sitted on the right hand of the Father.
He will come again to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Christian Church, the Communion of sins, the Forgiveness of sins, the Ressurection of the body and the life everlasting.
Amen.
(Confession of Faith)

Most merciful God, I confess that I am in the bondage of sin and can not free myself.
I have sin against You in thought word and deed.
By what I have done and by what I have left undone.
I have not love You with my whole heart.
I have not love my neighbours as myself.
But for the sake of Your son Jesus Christ, had mercy on me, forgived me, renewed me and lead me so that I may delight in Your will and walk in Your ways to the glory of Your holy name.
Amen.
(Confession of Sins)

I am sorry Lord for my sins and I thank Thee for Your forgiveness, mercy, love and grace.

Watermelons are BIG and sweet.... :)

FYI: Whenever I have trouble figuring out what title to put on my post, I just randomly typw what's on my mind - and I am currently thinking about watermelons. :D

My addiction for online manga has yet to be ceased. :P

Because of that, I have no updated my blog and dragged to do pretty much everything else.

Yes I know, I am a manga junkie but I just love it. Sometimes we watch movies or read novels because we find something in it that we desire that we dont possess in real life. And in manga, I get to feel all fuzzy and "cute" again. Where everything is just sweet and perfect, so to say.

I know you must be thinking "Sure the lovey dovey kind". And yes, as predictable as it is, it is sweet romantic manga. Not the errr.. bad ones but the "Awwww" type :)

It is nice seeing "tall, handsome" guy going "gaga" and over caring/loving/protective over a girl.. yada yada... typical cliche of a girl fantasy la. I am sure most girls dream of it.

As a matter of fact, most of the comics all have the same plot more or less. It is so predictable but at the same time just so sweet.

And I dont know, I guess if you were me (the never pakto for real type), you would sorta envy it and go "awwwww".

So yes, thats what attracts me to manga, a girls simple dream is realised there.

"A young girl's dream is a man's nightmare" - some quote from one manga (cant remember).

Interesting ironic isnt it? LOL, but somehow it is true. Hence why I am un-attached. LOL!

Anyway, enough crap, hahaha.....

Here are some pics with my relatives my Belgium... (just got em from my couz) :)

Auntie Nancie - my fourth aunt from me mum's side and Gary my couz bro. (In Pangkor)
At Putrajaya.... FYI, some peeps have been asking me who is that la (primary pic in Friendster) so here you go, he is my couz - thats all! Dont assume otherwise, lol.

Me, yeye (second aunt), Gary, aunty Nancie and uncle Alain with Putrajaya behind us. :) p/s: I look so sour...hahah...bad shot!

After that, we went looking around in Putrajaya. We came to this "pasar" and saw this "chopping meat with an axe".... :P

With mummy and auntie Nancie at Star Hill Kuala Lumpur - that place "cut throat" man!

And as some of you might know, we went to Batu Caves - in which my embarrasing - pengsan incident came along... :P

This is after we parked our car...

1/8 going up.. stopped to rest....

Gary took the lead up and snapped this.... :D

There were monkeys all over :)

The handsome looking iguana at the peak - for tourists. The sad part: I was blacked out and didnt have a chance to take a pic with it not touch it :(

After blacking out... :)

Tada!!! My big butt...LOL! Gary nothing better to do then :P

I had to lie down cause... you know la....

All in all, it was a terrible experience. Malu pula tu...

We stopped at a recreational lake after that to rest....

I like this back view...

Family lunch - Ampang yong tau fu!

Sedap tau.... :D

Vassart family lunch in Tropicana...

There are a lot more pics, but lazy la...haha.. And Gary just had to take lots of candid shots of me, making me look like a blur retard...lol.

Anyway, I hope I get to update my blog more often - so much to say - so little words to express. I am not sure if some words are meant to be expressed out too...

Whatever it is, I bid you a pleasant day and God bless :D

The "beauty" of a goyang-kaki and procastinating day.... :D

I love Wednesdays. Not because it happends to be a college-free day for me. But because I just do. Wednesdays. I love em.

*Breathes in relief*

Assignment 2a of Comm Research proposal is finally over and submitted, it's gonna take another 2 weeks before Assignment 2b commences.

So I can goyang my kaki a little. :)

Screen Text midterm exam is also over - Thank the Lord.

Eventhough it was open book, I literally have to "zing" everything that came to my mind in. I hope it is "OKAY"...... :P

Now what is left for the week is Public Relation: Theory and Writing Assignment 1!

Bohhooo......

I hate it, everything is so blur! I dont even know when to begin let alone complete 2000 words!

Besides, I am goyang-ing my kaki now blogging and reading online manga (again) instead of reading my PR notes and starting my assignment in which I hope to pass up successfully tomorrow.

Aaaa... the nature of procastination.

It kills! :D

Maybe I should do it tonight when I have more "ooomph"? Or later la, I cant just seem to open the files to read. And my bed is always extra cozy in the afternoon.

Okay la, lets stop talking about assignments, it is so freaking boring and errr..argh bodoh.

Let's talk about.... ernmmmm... me!

LOL!

My blog ma... I think I am entitle to be a little vain... LOL.

But there is nothing about me to talk about..... sad right???

But I can talk about my future pets :D

-_-"

No la.... haiya....

Now I have the time and energy to blog, but I have nothing to say.

Actually memang got wan....

But I'm just blocked!

Okay la... just some random stuff.... :

- Anuar Zain's "Lelaki ini" song has been playing non stop in my laptop..... its nice song and I am currently addicted before I get "sien" with it..... :D - Credit goes to Yiang.

- I dont know why, Ive been pretty emo lately. Funny, its not PMS. Maybe its the emo songs. :D

- I think I loss weight???? - chech wa... prasan! LOL! I cant seem to eat as much anymore, apetite has diminished.

- I am addicted to online manga (wait, you already know that!)! :P

- I am so "geram" inside. Not in a bad way but in a weirdly "cute" way....I am not saying I am cute ke apa....haha. But more like hugging my bolster and "eeeeeee" - So cute I wanna squeeze you! Not that my bolster is "cute" ke apa (actually it kinda is, :P), but because I have this super urge to just hug something and smooch it - like sayang-ing a cute fat baby. LOL. And since I am not always in contact with cute cuddly infants, I dont get to express it often *Sigh* And I cant really squeeze my "Smookie Tookies" (rabbits) for real - might kill them, pet and hold can la. That's why I am so "geram-cute" inside.... I desperately wanna huggy wuggy something and sayang it to the max! But no baby or big cuddly pet to hug - sad.... This are the times I wish I had a boyfriend.... KONON!!!Hahahah!

- I dance around everyday in my room alone - lame and pathetic right? But I suka....hahaha...

And my bolster is my partner :D

- I need some endorphine - exercise like lotsa dancing... I miss dance camp! And I wanna go wall climbing!!! Anyone?

- Nothing else d... unless u wanna read about my assignment rantings.....

Okay la... have a nice and blessed day. Hug, and be hugged. God bless and *smiles*

Release me...

It is not dead yet....

Hello and greetings to all - if there is - readers...

Lotsa huggies and gigantic smiles/grins to you.

Lama d since I have blogged.

I have been more than busy.... more like occupied. But substantial matters and not so concrite ones. :D

Assignments has taken its toll on me. I loathe it. I am starting to think that perhaps I am not cut out for degreee... its like I am not smart enough or my IQ is just descending everyday.

OMG! Maybe I am having some brain dysfunction? LOL

The reason I am here blogging is because I have finished my assignments for the...ermm... week (MORE TO COME VERY SOON) and I have some *pics* to post up in this almost dead and colourless blog.

Besides being ALL TIED up with that, I have been more than a little addicted to free online manga. Yes, I am a manga junkie.

I used to sit in Borders FOR HOURS reading mangas - the info person there totally knows me by annoyance. LOL, basically, he/she is the "unwraping" person for me. Yes, I am muka tembok when it comes to this, I have em upwrapping expensive English manga all the time and sitting in the corner just sinking it all it.

But now I can read em for free through the internet thanks so much to my darling Jenny!!

............. ooookkkay...? I thought I had a lot to blog about - lots of stuff inside - but I guess I am just tied up in words now.

Anyway...hahaha.... here are some pics taken in Port Dickson with my family during the Merdeka weekend. Mum rented this old but nice bungalow with a big garden/courtyard and a private beach.


Everytime we go to PD, we would visit this mamak which was famous for its fish head curry. And mmmm.... I love it! Lol, this pic is after the "battle" we had....

And next we have retardedness at its worse....
Whatever you are thinking, DON'T. Kekekekeke......

Yes, I knowe... thats the best poses I can come up with. Honestly, I couldnt find a particular way of posing in a normal way... feels so weird. Hence I did something I felt comfortable doing :P

This is like the open air lounge. It is really nice because the breeze is just fantastic!!! 24/7 none stop and you can just sit there and fall asleep.

The brown living room... has a TV so not bad... :)

The corridor to the rooms... There were 3 rooms with 3 beds each. So the house could fill 9 peeps or more. Good for big families.

The room... or my room with daddy and mummy....hehehe.....Mine's the middle bed and you can actually wee my suku-sukus there. :D

The beach and its horizon behind me...

She's got the whole world in her hands.... LOL

Daddy darling...

Enjoying the breeze...

The beach wasn't that nice but it was okay....heheh.

Sweet granpa and I taking a stroll on the beach....

I love treee swings...!

Yahoo......!!!

My dearest family taking in the wind...

Breakfast!!!!

The view from the bungalow... the courtyard is so big... we could play football there! :)

I love this pic of the treee... it looks so distinguish...

This is the resting place or sight seeing place before the fence next to the beach... quite nice to sit and day dream...LOL.

*******************************

Okay.... so thats it... I gotta go read more manga now or sleep soon. Tomorrow is going to be a very LONG day.... (God, I put it in Your mighty hands).

May assignment 2A be fine and let our hearts be worry-free. Grant us the spirit of knowledge and understanding. Help me to be more alert in class and may everything go according to Your will. Amen.