At the End of My Rainbow

Currently Listening to:

Double Concerto

by

Johann Sebastian Bach

Performed

by

Itzhak Perlman and Isaac Stern.

The Potato is going to fall in a love in a fun fair/carnival and you're invited.

So please be there....

We'll meet on the carousel and kiss on the ferris wheel. :)

The Prologue of My Smiles

Currently Listening to:

Just Arond the River Bend

by

Pocahontas

The Potato is certified to the max as the most

MANJA and SAYANG - needed girl in the entire world of hunny-bunnies, huggy-buggies, kissy-mushies, snuggles-wuggles and sayang-mayangs~!

PERIOD!

:D

Would you contest that?

If no, then what are you waiting for???

SAYANG her la~!!! :)

At the end of my rainbow....

Currently Listening:

Through the Rain

by

Mariah Carey

Today, someone told me that I was positive!

I know that some of my previous post might contest that (emo times - pms la), but if you know me, I am naturaly a cherry bubble who likes to smile and talk rainbows all the time.

But sometimes I tend to 'forget' that... (especially when I'm emotional or stressed - busy week la)

But when someone commented about a moment of my so-called character today, I was reminded of who I truly was. Someone I've forgotten lately and it hit me that I was once the girl who still smiled when her tears knew no end.

So I'm gonna hold my head up high and brace through whatever it may come with a smile and a cherry thought. :)

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort."

~ Herm Albright~

Have a blessed and wonderful day people! :D

Living Words

I can't do it....

But I know my God can!

:)

A Silky Road Ahead of Me

Currently Listening to: Here Is Our King by David Crowder (Band)

Philee: "BIG" NEWS!!!

Potato: What??

Philee: I cut my hair..!!!

Potato: HUH!?? (-_-") More like trimmed....

No cookies in my jar...

So much for PMS on my headache... Mum thinks it's over heaty... Panadols and Aspirins did not work and hence the doc issued Paracetamols instead. Yes, I had to see a doc, and apparently according to her, the cause was due to pressure (????) which no one in my family agress to it. Hahaha.... maklum la, the sleeping pig of the house mana la boleh pressure. Not that I'm that mellow but hey, I have my share of carefree moments. But anyway, I didn't merely visit the doc for my jelly-like head problem. It was because I woke up this morning with conjunctivitis and sore throat which then lead to a minor fever. And all my mum said was "YIT HEI" which means internal body heaty-ness and in this case, too heaty sampai kena jumpa doctor. Me mum blames it on the mamak sup kambing I had the night before.... but well... it was worth it...hahaha! The down part of it is that I am missing the barbeque that's happening right this moment downstairs. My bro and his friends are having a blast "burning sausages in the front porch and I can't touch the food due to my 'heaty-ness'. And here I am blogging because I am freaking bored stuck in my room with bread and soup. And because PMS is around the corner, my tummy has begun to ache a little... I wonder if I should wipe down some Panadols for it while I'm heavy on Paracetamols and other medications??? p/s: 5 pills... okay and 3 of it aregigantic... I almost choked!

Anyway... do leave a little footprint at the (new) CBOX and tell me if the colour is too over or not. As a 'colourful' person, sometimes I cant tell if it's just too much....teheee.

Okay, can't blog for long... vision lacking already.

Have a nice weekend and day God bless!

O the Strawberry-ness of Me!

Currently Listening to: Let Me Lie by Hayley Westenra.

The Potato seems rather reluctant to start blogging and posting pictures of her 5th day in Cambodia. Perhaps, it's her laziness to edit the sizes of the photos? The nonchalant manner in trying to upload them? The divided views in whether to put them in parts? The little dizziness that has lingered in her left temple since yesterday? Or just PMS???

Don't mess with the 'kitty'!

I know PMS is a very common trade among girls and women and expecially me as it never seem to ever leave me alone every month. Emo-ness, cramps, back aches, lethargicness...etc. It seems to be a bl**dy annoying cycle.... wait, it's more than a cycle! It's an evolving cycle that gets worst. I recall the first PMS I had to go through when I first started to "age biologically".

First was cramps... VERY BAD cramps, in my early teens. Then 'heaviness' (lack of energy) came in... making me feel like a slug in school then whenever 'strawberry' came. In mid teen, emotions ran wild and that's when life is suddenly a big soap opera. And before I knew it... after the teen phrase (when the big 2-0 age comes to the picture), back aches start to attack as if osteoperosis jacked my spine. And now... in this very month, I've just discovered a new symptom...a very annoying one at that... headaches!!! Plus them altogether and you'll get a circus of disasters ni ya!

I never knew that headaches were a form of PMS cause I never had it nor knew anyone who did. Most girls I know commonly and usually only have cramps and emo-ess but on my case... it just keeps piling up. I have an annoying case of dizziness and head roller-coaster yesteryday noon and thought that maybe it was due to my contact lenses of something else. The fact that it was PMS never crossed my mind till Mdm Yiang told me. Hmmm.... I couldn't think about it much then for as I returned home, I immediatly dropped 'dead' on the bed and zero-ed out for the next 5 hours. Actually, it didn't really zzzz for real but just half concious lying on the bed as the headache did not permit me to doze off. It was wrecky!

And today... my head is giving me the same knocking on my temples. So get it all straight, I went online to search for the answers. And guess what, it is a PMS symptom. And I learned more... that PMS does 'evolve' and adds on more symptoms in life as you grow/age. Which freaking explains, why each phase of my life seems to be getting worse during 'strawberry'. So much for cramps, emo-ness, back aches, and a sluggy body... now I have to as headaches to the list!!! Darn! But at least I'm not that bad.... errr.. am I? I found out there are a lot more PMS symptoms and thankfully I'm not having them (YET????)... but as it states, it does pile up as you age. A few of them are acne (walau), bloating and tender breasts... which errr.. I don't think I have (nor want to have - sekarang also pening d every month).

Girl's rules and rocks but it isn't easy being one...

For reference and more:

http://health.yahoo.com/women-overview/premenstrual-syndrome-pms-topic-overview/healthwise--hw139442.html

She smiled in me...

Currently Listening to: Awesome God by Hillsongs

It's been a week since I've updated? Internet has been a little draggy lately and the pics of my second post (day 1 part 2) on Cambodia has yet to come back from the shop (who is repairing my camera and memory card - hope the all pics will be saved!) Hence, it'll have to wait a bit...

Anyway, to carry on with life... a new semester is starting this week and I pray that all goes well by the grace of God. May lecturers be nice and assignments be gentle. May I be more hardworking and more attentive to my work. I hope this new semester will bring lots more of joyous memories to my life with my dear friends. And to those away in Perth, you have my love and care! All the best!

Just to scream a little here.... :

Passion World Tour Concert was awesome!!!!!

Oh yeah!!! God is truly amazing! His grace is ever so abundant and I am ever thankful for Him. 'Miracles' took place tonight in the concert and I couldn't smile wider in my heart nor weep enough to re-pay Him of his grace and faithfulness! The unexpected became real and 'Passion' was the indeed the suited word for what I experienced tonight. Indeed.... He is awesome and ever amazing.

I met many people that I haven't seen in aeons and I am glad people in my life be it past, present or future, share the same and wonderous God whom bind us together in Christ. And hence, no matter how far or how long we are apart, we will always re-join back together in Him. I meet friends from HLLC, very OLD friends from HLLC, college people, schoolmates from seconday school, childhood friends and even made a new friend - Teri!!

And this is the first time in a very long time where I saw lots of cute guys (in ONE place in ONE time)...hahah :P Indeed, there were a lot of good looking hunks and that is rare to behold. LOL! Usually, you can't event find one if you spend an entire day walking in the mall. But today, I saw at least 10 and more in one night. Okay...haha, FYI, it is just a statement, nothing more. I am not interested la, just found it interesting to behold (wasn't common to behold such sight ok..lol).

But of course the main reason and focus there was J-E-S-U-S!!! And indeed He was the main event for more than 4000 Campus students! He rocks!!! :D

"I was made by Him for His glory."

"With all that I am now and all that I can do, use me Lord and let me shine for You.

I am Yours."

And I thank You for all that You are and for Your faithfulness that has touched me so much tonight. Jesus, you're amazing! :)

A Pocket Full Of Sunshine

Currently Listening to:

I Won't Say (I'm In Love)

by

The Cheetah Girls

(OST: Hercules)

Drinking: Boh's instant green tea with lime...

Watching: Alias on AXN....

Ate: Half of a self-made tuna sandwich and several tea spoons of baked beans....

Facial Expression: Grinning like a lunatic....

Mood: Lazy yet dreamily 'angau'.....

Contemplating: If I should be rajin and do some house chores (or simply leave it for tomorrow).... :P

Thinking: Of some surreally stupid yet blissful nonsense....

Hoping: For more smiles in my life!

What I need: A little sunshine in YOUR life!

(When you have sunshine, I have brightness. So shine away!)

What I want: World Peace and World SMILES!!! :D

Where I wanna be: In cuddly wuddly arms... *pictures future boyfriend*

Adores: My darling bunnies! I just wanna smoother them with my kisses!!

Crushing: On my 'hubby' o-so-smelly-but-adoring-bolster! I am so attached to it! :P

Crazy: About retardedness.... @$#%?$&*/!

Wishing: For ever ever after....!!

Loves: SMILES!!!! :D

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Have a beautiful day!

God bless!

Hugs!

Love ya!

Life's A Bloody Event!

Ugga-ness of: Nightmares of allergy attacks and bloody feet.

Don't you hate one of those nights where sleep is robbed out of you and you spend the whole night itching and sneezing away as if dust mites were attacking you in a massive war?!

I hate it... I was blood shot awake till 5am with ezcema wounds open on both my feet and oozing with "white sauce" and blood because I couldn't stand the itch. Needless to say... it wasn't a pretty picture. Blessedly, I didn't have long nails....

I couldn't breathe well too... felt like a "web" was sticking unto my lungs or lotsa ugga ugga choking me... And the "PURPLE-PINKISH (it's amazing they have it in my colour) breathing spray what so ever thingie was out of order".

And the "beauty" of all this was, I was out on Anti Histemines (or however you spell it) for the itch and empty on my nose-booger-night-time-pills (whatever scientific name you call it) and practically almost every valid medication. (Actually I have boxes of em... but out of date cause I was just a lazy bugger and couldnt have the "heart" to take em and just let em stack up till it's over due - sad I know)

Yes, I was partially my fault because I have been procastinating in setting up an appointment with my allergy and ENT doctors.

Actually it's not big deal.. it's common for me... 4 out of 10 nights... this happends. But what's special bout this one is "coincidently" I have the exact same wound on both feets! It's actually almost symetrical! And they're both UUGGHH and bloody! Hah! Perfect art of scratching ey?

Anyway.... to make matters even worse again... I'm out of my ezcema cream (or actually can't find it) for my darling wounds and I just applied whatever I could find in my "medicine cupboard" which was filled with dust and over due medications. And it's actually pretty cool to see both your feet on white retention bandages... hehehe...

No pictures though, cause to me.... it was actually a common thing...

Again, nothing major... just.... LIFE and me!

Cheers to modern medicine and insurance! And I hope my laziness won't kill me first!

Miao me up and Purr me away!

I GOT BULLIED BY A FREAKING-FAT-YET-CUTE-AND-HIGHLY-ADORABLE-PLUS-REGAL-BUSHY-TAILED-PERSIAN-CAT TODAY!!!

I find it to be very interesting but at the same time embarassing and stupid!

The story begins in this evening when I was trying to put my hunny bunnies back into their cages. On alternate days, I would release them unto the porch to exercise and to play around (cant confine them all the time) and by night, I would place them back. When I was getting ready and opening the cages, I noticed a certain dark and interesting shadow on my left (I didnt on the porch light then, I was pretty dark). I looked closer and lo, behold: It was a big dark brown and very fat persian cat laying on the porch's corner with it's yellow collar bell twinkling, eyeing on my babies. Oh yes.... You can practically smell the grim-ness in the dark night.

I grin-ed! The thing is, I love cats, especially big fat ones who happen to be really bushy and being a persian in a double plus! If you guys have not read an old post, I once said I stalked a domestic cat in my neighbouhood and that particular kitty happends to be sitting on me porch this very night.... "bonding" with my babies!

I hope it was not having any ill feelings towards my bunnies, but then again, if it did, it would have attacked long ago. So anyway, it was just starring at them and I too did the same except I was starring at it. My fingers got itchy and I wanted to pet it so badly. I love cats but my mum never did, so hence I never got much exposure to it in my life. I tried approaching it, but it moved a few inches away, indicating I was not a comfort party.

NVM!

I then quietly sat there... the the middle of the porch (the light was on then..) at night and tried to blend in.... I started to talk to my bunnies and petted them all the time while they were running around me. Hoping that I "got into the picture", I started scooting closer to the kitty and behold.... I PETTED IT!!!

And for a moment there I thought I was doing a pretty good job... It was responding and cats after all do love much affection and attention. So as I was happily petting it and thinking "hey, this is good.... my bunnies are such a good liaison...teheee.....", The kitty suddenly turn its head and.......

BIT MY HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ouch!!!

The up-side of it was it didn't hurt much but it left a red long scar on my wrist!

-_-"

I was a little pissed off and wanted to hector the bl**dy cat!

Internal thought then: ?*&^%$#@!?*&^%$#@!

Internal thought then 2: You come to my house un-invited, got rude and bit me when I tried to be nice to you???!!!!

Internal thought then 3: If you didn't like it then just walk away!

And then... after bitting me... the kitty made no intention of moving... it expected me to scoot off.....

I was like: "What the....!!!"

Act bossy some more....!!

But then again cats are arrogant, it's what gives them "grace" and pride.

But screw it for a moment... I was ricked off....it BIT ME! And I think I didn't do anything wrong and as a matter of fact, I treated it nice, I adored it!

Anyway... here comes the stupid part of me. Instead of shoo-ing it away or be mean, I succumbed to its "royal-ness" and blah away to my bunnies. My mum said I should just halau it and worse, use the broom.... cause it was not my fault and I have a right to do so... it masuk rumah orang some gigit orang wo....

Anyway, I took my bunnies back into their cages and guess what.... ??

Mr.Cool the Fatty Pump (my nickname to him) started to walk and take a "stroll" on my porch like he owned it! Most cats would usually run or scoot when people come to view (in my neighbourhood that is) but it totally ignored me! Okay, I admit... I LOST the battle in the beginning... I should have shoo-ed it when it bit me but I retreated. I guess I was too engrossed in having to come into contact or proximity with such a lovely cat (my dream cat!) that all I did then was just admire it despite my anger and pain. Bodoh I know (it was just very cute la).

So then after stroutching it's way around my porch, it settle underneath the porch's wooden stool, once again staring at my bunnies (in the cage). I gave it a minute or two before sprinkling drops of water on it which totally set it out in a bounce and leaped away.

And then I told me mum the whole story in which she concluded that I was "BODOH" for letting it "climb all over me". She said she would have halau-ed it with the broom...

Yup, I felt a little dumb la..... Should have bagi it some colour...ahem... if you know what I mean.

But anyway, it was a "fun" experience... Adoring beautiful cats certainly have beautiful prices to pay ey... Hahaha....

What a night....

Despite tonight, I still love cats, let's hope I don't get bitten again... :(

Over the Rainbow and into Your arms

Calm my heart O Lord,
Let it be filled with love, patience and understanding.

Let not my heart be clouded with anger and judgement,
But overflowing with joy and grace.

Teach me Lord to control my temper,
And to watch my words and actions.

Grant me a clear conscience,
And a stready mindset to act according to Your ways.

Help me to set a good example to those around me,
And to be a useful vessel unto Thy glorious name.

Show me Thy ways,
So that I may follow them.

Guard my heart Lord,
And let it be strengthened with obedience.

~ Amen~

Naughty as a fruitcake!

You Are Disturbingly Profound

You're contemplative, thoughtful, and very intense. Taking time to figure out the meaning of life is a priority for you. Because you're so introspective, you often react in ways that surprise people. No one can really understand how you are on the inside... and that disturbs them.

Are You Disturbingly Profound or Profoundly Disturbing?

You Are a Smiley Face Cookie

You're happy go lucky. So happy, in fact, it's a little past the point of normal sanity. You usually make those around you smile ... when you're not creeping them out!

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

You Are 86% Pure

You're so pure ... you make a nun look like a whore! There's a lot of life's dark side left for you to experience... if you want to.

The 100 Question Purity Test

You Are a Cupcake

Cute and fun, you never take life too seriously. People are constantly surprised by how delightful you are.

What Dessert Are You Most Like?

Your Heart is Feeling Hopeful

For you, love is a feeling that's been growing and blooming. Whether you're in a relationship that's deepening or found a new love, your feelings are slowly changing. You're remembering how amazing love feels - and discovering emotions you've never felt before. Deep down, your heart is susceptible to: Getting a little carried away Your current outlook on love: Optimistic and playful Your love life will improve if you: Stop and reflect on how your love is changing Watch out for: Falling too hard, too fast - you've got to let your sweetie catch up with you!

What Is Your Heart Feeling?

What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You

You are sweet, mellow, and easily satisfied. You don't like anything too intense and dramatic. Deep down, you're a kid at heart... and you're nostalgic for the past. You are emotionally expressive and sensitive. You're effected by everything around you. Your friends appreciate your open heart, but they are afraid of hurting your feelings. You love to be in love. You crave romance, whether you're single or not. You feel lost when you don't feel passion... you need someone to adore.

The Chocolate Oracle

Sunsets On My Window

Currently Listening to:

Somewhere Out There

by Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram

(OST: An American Tail)


Drama.... it's a daily thing in life. You can either be a dramatic person or just have tonnes of it in your life. So which are you? Do you exaggerate most of the time? Or do you just have lots to put up with for real? I hate drama. It's one thing to watch it on TV and another to experience it. Drama, drama, drama. But it is a part of life. It is life... we experience it all the time. So what's the big deal about it? Don't need to be dramatic right? But what about intenal drama? What do you think of it? What of it? How of it? Is it worse than the other dramas? Far more suffering? Or just too dramatic for words or expression?

Internal drama. It kills you inside and leave you molting without anyone seeing or noticing it. It is the perfect killer, the optimum assasin without a trace of evidence. It rots you, rips you apart and sometimes it poisons your very mind. And before you know it, you've lost it. It is the battle within and sometimes you just don't know which stand you are to take. The war rages and before you can tell, little things inside starts perishing, dragging you slowly with it. Very slowly, it withers away in the night, leaving you bare and incomplete. How can two opposite sides co-exist in one mind? Has it come to the point of insanity? How can so much drama be conjured up in one thought?

Who are you? Who am I? Why are you torturing her so badly? Do you not feel tired? Why are you storing so much anger? Ill thoughts and pain? Let not it be harboured for destruction will come swiftly. It is near the corner. Yes, it is knocking on ones door.... Leave, please let it leave. Push it away. Send it away. Leave it. Abandon it. Her soul is weary. Let it loose. Let it fade away. I beg you. O I beg you... kill it. Destroy it, burn it! Let it rip with pain! Let it suffer till it ends! No mercy... no mercy... For she has none to give.

Petals of my Heart and a Garland of Memories

Currently Listening to: The Prayer by Charlotte Church and Josh Groban.

Suddenly, I was reminded of my old (but short-term) blog in Tabulas. Not many of you know about it, as a matter of fact, I doubt any of you do (except a trustworthhy estranged friend). It was secret blog then... something I wanted to tell the world but at the same time bring to my very grave. After getting blogspot and trying to once again open my thoughts (general) to the public, I've then totally forgotten about my Tabulas blog. But today, I suddenly thought about it and hence went back in to view it. As a matter of fact, I managed to log in too.

Looking at it brought back many memories. Some which may have passed me by, some which is still very much fresh in me and some still lingering in my everyday thoughts. Funny how you read stuffs about yourself long time ago which you don't know now or didn't want to know then. I kept reading the Tabulas blog on and on and somehow despite the lengthy period of abandoning it, I could still see the freshness of the past tears and hearty words in it... it was all still the same. "Laying" there intact, away from the world, from people... just waiting for me there in silence. Waiting for me to claim a part of my heart back.



As I scroll through the webpage, I could still "smell" the feelings, the heartaches, tears and smiles back then. It was so real, so sweet, so fresh. It was as if it never left and I was stagnant all the time with it without noticing that I had blinded myself to what really mattered to me. Sure, Blogspot served a pretty sweet place for me to input my random and personal thoughts be it in pictures of words. But as simple and plain as Tabulas was, it was the only place which published my heart's desires. When I say published, meaning it was out in the world, for the world to see. It was in an open-wide webpage, written raw and naked. But I guess the world wasn't meant to see it for I gave no desire in exposing its link or source. I was "alone" then and because of that, I made Tabulas suffer the same fate too. I was "attacked" so much then that I couldn't display my wounds out to heal but to let it linger alone in hopes that someone might find it and save me.

But here I am again... looking at it, wondering how I saved myself. How I salvaged the bits and parts of me then to continue breathing, to go on, to survive and to make it through all alone. Reading Tabulas made me realise how honest I was to myself back then. How passionate a person I could be or once was. How I was willing to fight for what really mattered to me and to stand firm despite the world opposing me. It reminded me that I wasn't as weak as I make myself feel now and that I could withstand what others would deem impossible or would only dream of doing. It made me realised that the girl back then was who I truly was and wanted to be for real. Without the world or people around me telling me what should or shouldn't be.



I miss Tabulas and I miss the girl who used to scribble in it. I miss her so much. Sometimes I could still feel her in me. Feel her knocking on my heart's door and begging me to let her in before the "cold" took every inch of her away... I want her back. I want me back....

"Tough luck baby, GO DIE!"

I'm fine now I can still walk alone.

Pouty Tulips in my Garden...

Currently Listening to: Byul (Star) by Kim Ah Joong (OST: 200 Pounds Beauty)

I just love lazy afternoons...

It is terrible as it's LAZY....

But I just love it...

But it's bad cause it's LAZY!

What's my point?

It's that I just love being lazy now on this cool an quiet afternoon but somehow feel a huge amount of guilt for being lazy when I have so much unfinished business like a final assignment!

"I am one heck of a lazy girl!"

*Grins like an idiot*

And suddenly the potato lost the will to blog... aiya!

Hence I bid thee adios and farewell for now.

Lotsa muackies and huggies!

God bless...

How an angel broke my heart...

Currently Listening to: Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered by Frank Sinatra

"Je ne pourrais pas vous laisser partir ainsi je me suis laissé partir à la place."

Rose of Sharon

"My beauty lies in Him...."

The Scent of Rain

Currently Listening to: Somos Novios by Andrea Brocelli and Christina Aguilera.

I feel like a big rain has just ended and the weather is cool and clean...

Media Audiences and the Public final exam is finally OVER!

*Big and bright Fireworks everywhere*

Of course there's still Documentary final assignment and Professional Communication final exam coming up.... But now is the time to celebrate one victory!

The paper today was errr... ok??? Sure it wasn't easy and I had a hard time trying to remember some stuffs and even tembak-ing in the essay but I'm a little glad that some stuff that I studied actually paid off cause it actually came out tepat2!

But still... I feel so relief with this paper over.... the worse that is....

The day started up bad... Ms. Strawberry just had to pay a visit and Mrs.Cramps, Mr.Back-ache, Auntie Nausea, Mdm. Moody-emo-I-feel-like-crap just had to show up along with it.

But still, I am grateful the worse is over!

Praise be to the Lord Almighty for everything!

Lotsa pics still in waiting for uploading but I guess it'll have to wait more.... I am still lazy....hehehe...

And I am going to the zoo tomorrow!!! Yeah! (More pics then to mountain up, kekeke)

A Blink of Memories....

Currently Listening to: True Colours by Eva Cassidy

Thought Out Loud: "......."

*Just Smiles to Oneself*