I miss you....

KDU Graduation Ball 2007 - Sheraton Subang

Okay, I have decided to post some pictures of the ball since a ball doesnt come often and my blog is porched out of pictures for quite some time.

But much credit is given to Yiang for helping me load the pics from my camera (cable still mati - her laptop save the pics) and editing some too.

I am only going to post half of what I have (we camwhored a lot!) and some of it here are already on my Friendster.

I am not going to intro lama-lama here, so "enjoy".

Me la.... lol


Me and Yiang....

Since day one... :)

With Seok Yeong... I like this pic (eventhough it's dark) :)

The whole matter about this picture is that Mei Fen and I had the almost-same-looking high heel. LOL. But mine was much higher (almost killed me) but I was still short. :P

With pretty Zoe... she looks glam!

Ella....the sweet one. :)

Meng Kheng!!! Moi buddy!

The three of us.... P, Z & Y

Philee, Zoe, Yiang and Farhana

Looking somewhere else? :D

Zoe, Yiang, Philee and Man Yin... clear shot!

Philee, Serene, Man Yin and Seok Yeong

Before balik.... :)

Pretty ladies? :D

Macho, macho man! LOL!

Awww Meng... Doesnt he look like a "taiko"? He is the guy I look for if I want to bury a body :P

Half of us!

June 2005 intake, Diploma in Mass Communication graduates! :D

Vanity

What is it?

Is it something I lack?

Or something I need more?

In my account? BOTH!

o_0" ???

I wish I was vain-ner. As in more vain??

Yes, you heard me. I would like to be a VAIN POT!

Why? Maybe it would make my life easier.

How so?

- My mum and aunt would nag me less on "prepping up" my appearance.

- I wouldn't always feel insecure around other girls.

- I could be confident. And be HAPPY!

- I would have no problem looking at my own pictures and videos.

- I wouldn't worry so much on how I look all the time (knowing I look good).

But I would also prefer my life to be LESS vain... more like no sense of self-appearance at all!

Why so?

- I could care less of what people think.

- I can be lazy and not take effort or time to doll up.

- I don't need to worry about how I look.

- I can just buy cheap clothes and stuff and look normal.

- It's not that I am in "the market".

- Not pretty, means not pretty la.... being less of a vain person would make it easier to accept.

OKAY, you must think this is a cynical entry.

I think so too? But lately, cynical is all I am.

Or maybe my SE level has just decreased suddenly due to PMS?

(SE: self-esteem)

It is bad enough I am not THAT smart in a little "retarded" :P

But now I have to feel like a disfigured pumpkin? Yes, that is the new word I use to define myself now. And nope, I didn't use the word "potato" because I dont even think I am worthy of using it! :P

*SIGH*

In case you are wondering, Graduation Ball was okay... most of us end up "camwhoring" (as what Meng would call it) all night

There are LOADS of pics, but because of my current condition, I cant find it in me to post them up!

On the day itself, Miss Yiang and I headed to 1 Utama to "doll up".

We had our hair done in Monsoon ID (curls) and make-up in CHRSTIAN DIOR!

Needless to say, everything WASN'T cheap but it wasnt often the both of us put "gunk" on our hair and face. (We couldn't do the make up ourselves cause the both of us are "buta make-up")

Ella said she couldnt recognise us because of the make-up (we barely apply it ever - so no surprise tak kenal la).

I had my Korean champagn satin dress on with my 6 inche (I think so) white heel on (which almost killed me at the end of the night).

For once in a long time, I actually felt pretty like a princess :)

And it felt real good.

But I guess pictures dont show it do they (kinda obvious I am not photogenic - so sad)? Or was I just prasan in the first place? :(

Regardless, I am not posting any pictures of the ball YET. Or at least till my SE level go up and maybe after a little editing?

*DOUBLE SIGH*

So yes, I wish I was less vain - so I couldnt care less and just post it all up.

But I also wish that I could be a vain pot so I can "take care" of myself better....

Here's the thing, I nak cantik, tapi I wont go through lengths to look good.

Yes I am vain, but NOT THAT vain.

I would never STARVE myself just to lose a pound and I would never bother to put more than normal cleanser on my face to have toner - or what ever it is - pretty skin!

So being a mediocre and in the middle in things arent really all that good sometimes.

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Let me tell you a story, a story of DIET!

Firstly, I dont diet, never did and dont intend to.

Yesterday, my aunt came to me with a diet plan printed neatly on a white piece of paper. She told me to go for it...yada yada.... get it la...

She literally forced me to take it in which it just ended up on the coffee table - waiting to be cleard by the maid.

Yes..... I know... I am so ignorantly mean. But the moment she told me about it, the first thing that whacked my head inside was - What? No! *END*

The next day - today: I saw it "stucked" on the refrigerator!

And at the end of the day during dinner, she asked me.... hows your diet???

0_o" ????

What? She actually thought I would go for it when it didnt even crossed my "shallow" mind!

I told her I didnt do it. And sat at the table ready to eat my dinner!

She on the other hand stood right by the diet!

Anyway, I had potato soup with rice. No lauk pauk for me because I like me rice to be in the soup (like baby food) and of course my maid would ensure I had lots of potato in my bowl!

The moment my aunt saw what I was eating, the very rutine and regular phrase come out:

"Potato again?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CALORIES THEY HAVE??!!"

And let's not start with the 'fat story' here... there is so much I can blog about without vomitting my dinner out!

So anyway... I didnt really eat it all - the dinner. I left it on the table and walked out saying I am full (it is hard to eat in front of my aunt! she would count the calories as I put the spoon in my mouth, lol) while she was telling me how she was sticking to our - her diet!

So later on while I was talking to her and mum, she told me she gave my unfinished dinner then to the maid!!! So I takde makan apa la. In which it was okay! Because thankfully after class today, Yiang and I went for a little shopping in Ikano. We also bought some food in KFC - I bought whipped potato and wedges (been craving them for so long). Hence I am not that hungry.

After my mum and aunt found out I had a pre-KFC dinner, let's just say another round of "fat story" la... - shall not go into it!

I had to roll my eyes INSIDE because I couldnt care less!!!

Yes, I want to be slim and pretty, but I am not going to deny myself good food for it.

Sad to say, for me - eat then worry. It's not like I am really FAT in reality, I am just not thin. That's all. Sure, I may have my insecure moments - like now. But I am not going to starve just to justify my looks!

Again, the same point, vain but not vain enough.

I am a true Malaysian - I like to eat. Period.

Okay, back to the story....

My aunt start talking and "complaining" about my "tummy" saying "yada yada..." :P

Let's just say I wasnt really sinking it in ....

Not to mention my mum too, beside there "shooting" me with all the "physical comments" yada yada...

You wanna know something "amazing"?

My aunt has this "gift" in telling when I gain weight and when I lose it. She is like this human weighing machine. And most of the time she would tell me where I put on some extra "skin".

Which btw.... no one else can NOTICE!

Usually, kalau lama tak jumpa then can notice la... I mean there is comparison from the previous look ma....but seeing me everyday, she can tell even by an mm. 0_o"

Okay, I may not be thin or have a washboard tummy, but I am certainly not FAT

In mean sense, I am just a little judgy or berisi.

And according to my grandmother, that is real good. :)

Anyway, I am not really criticising my family, I love them to bits. Its just some people have their own opinions and when you are the youngest, you just have to bare it all in.

*SIGHS*

I wish I was slim,

I wish I was pretty,

I wish I could eat it all
And still feel so dainty.

But I thank the Lord through it all for what He has blessed me with. I am very much more fortunate than others and I appreciate the joys and things He has bestowed upon me. I may not be perfect but I know I am deeply loved by Him.

I am created in His image and beautiful in everyway - I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder - and I shall try to "hold it. I may not feel "up" now. But I know I aint all that bad. And if I were, I am sure the "light of Him" in me will shine through. :) Amen....

So Philee, it is okay if you're not pretty or thin... As long as you keep smiling for real and keep it in you, I am sure "inner beauty" will come through....

(self comforting :P)

To God, here are my worries and my life. Do as you please.

Bonjour!!

A little update...

Sadly no pictures STILL even when my camera is full of em - argh to cable!

But words will do for now.

1. Tomorrow is the Diploma Graduation Ball!!!!

Yeah baby!

Actually, this is my first Ball ("pai seh, yes!") and I am uhhh...don't know la. For a normal girl, I am suppose to be excited. But I am not exactly roller-coaster thrilled. Maybe because it isnt THAT fancy like high school where everyone you know will be there? For college is different, you'd barely know anyone else besides your own course or department.

Or maybe because there won't be a romantic DATE to take me?

Super LOL!

If you are a typical and highly normal girl (-_-") I am sure if you were to get ALL dressed up and looking pretty, you would want to attend a Ball with your boyfriend, crush...etc right?

But no, I wont be having a fairy tale evening tomorrow.

AND IT IS OKAY!

LOL!

For that's what single friends are for!!!

Amen to Meng and Yiang!! We are the only three STOOGES who are NOT attending their own convocation but going for the ball only.

Yes, we are infamous for it (too much? lol)....

Well, those from the busary and service centre department seem to think so. I have heard "Wah, only the three of you going for the ball without with convocation..." so many times.

LOL!

But it is a smart move. Cause the convo is SO expensive! And besides, we have degree coming. :)

So anyway... there are many turn-off points for the Ball tomorrow:

- I have yet to decide on a dress!

I have lots of evening gowns but I am a little indecisive as always.

- I LOOK PUDGY!

I put on weight..... :P

- Acne!

A stupid big RED acne just have to pop up yesterday when I woke up..... ARGH! Right on my chin...!!! I hope foundation can COVER it!

- Camera out of batteries!

Remember to buy tomorrow.... Besides, cable pun rosak... no point la... try la.

- Make-up and hair!!!

Yiang and I are going to 1 Utama tomorrow to do our hair and make-up in the saloon. But suddenly mummy say that it is more expensive than expected. Gulp?!

- PMS alert!!!!

My monthly strawbery cycle is coming..... ahem* O My Darling!!! Please dont get strawberry tomorrow!!! Or at least not CRAMPS!!!!

- I'm worried I am not going to enjoy the Ball....

Its a personal thing.... just not all "EEEeeee" into it. :(

I am currently feeling like this now.... and I hope I don't look like this tomorrow night!

2. I just watched Evan Almighty again (on DVD) and it is funny...hehehe.... just wanna share this quote with you guys:

God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

It sinks in slowly..... absorb it!

3. Let His will be done....

Suddenly, recently, an old hym just hit me.

It was called "Trust and obey"

I cant remember the whole song but the chorus went like this:

Trust and obey,

For there is no other way.

To be happy in Jesus,

But to trust and obey.

And it is true.... VERY true and important. I am not going to elaborate much on it for everything is just so vivid. But I guess it take time and patience before it all sinks in according to His will. I suppose we just have to take a step of faith and follow Him.

"TRUST AND OBEY!!"