Currently Listening to: Panis Angelicus by Charlotte Church
I am feeling a certain feeling now.... a feeling I haven't had in a very long time. Something that I have forgotten and something I dread very much to feel. There is no word for it or perhaps I refuse to give it it's name. For naming it would be labelling myself of it's load. Don't you find it somewhat amusing that feelings can differ in so many ways... and that by experiencing it after such a long halt would bring back so many memories and tastes. I guess you can call the joy of reminiscing. But I guess in this case, it seemed much less sweeter.
So yes, I am feeling rather.... well.... *that*...
And I can tell you one thing for sure, the feeling sucks!
I am somewhat perfectly fine and yet I could feel the inside of my chest clogging up like I am about to burst! Either what I'm feeling is really a little screwed up or the expensive (yet bitter tasting) salad I'm trying to "chow" down now is really getting to me.
I feel like sobbing but at the same time am dried up in the eyes. What can I say.... my body has yet to re-stock from the previous teary melt-down.
I keep feeling it! And now... I feel like there's a load of fat clogging in my heart's major artery and pushing me into a cardiac arrest!
Okay... maybe that's a little too much... but I give myself that kind of pictorial impression (when trying to describe it).. :P
And here I am "chowing" down an expensive salad pulak! So much for being healthy and having a heart attack! LOL! Might as well gobble up McD before I "die" instead.
*Yuck! The bitterness of it!* ----> reffering to salad... haaha...
O Bacon, where art thou??? (Jared and Rawlins, I need you!!!)
Okay... a little side track here... let's talk about the salad now... Once upon time.....there was a generous aunt who loves to bestow lovely things to her niece... Lately, she has taken a peculiar act in placing a nice plastic case (with lotsa golden labels on) with fresh and 'pretty' looking vegetables in it. It wasn't something you usually see in the supermarket or market but more like it was from a fancy restaurant where they charge you the price of meat for it... (meaning the money you pay there for the vege can be enough to buy belony or bacon!) Get my point? Basically, she told me it was for me to "moo" (get the cow hint?) down for my health, talk about me dieting? LOL! And it was so pretty and all that whenever I open the refrigerator... I would just take a moment and admire it... :P Weird I know but it's not everyday you get to see such 'lovely' greenary. Anyway, tonight or should I say lately... I've been feeling really... bumpy. So tonight I've decided to chow some of the 'pretty' vege as it's late and I didn't want to over eat over my dinner and supper....LOL! Yes, when I am not in a good mood... I either tend to feast like an animal or squeeze my tummy. So feeling a little guilty that I already had supper... I decided to 'attack' the vege instead and made myself a simple yet 'pretty' looking salad. But then... so much for expensive, it tasted like pure bitterness! *Lesson... outside cantik tak semestinya dalam menarik* But still I finsihed my salad for the sake of it. :S
And maybe an ounce of my current feelings of *that* is minorly contributed by the salad. Either way, I feel like banging my head on the wall.... (random thought).
Currently Listening to: Tell Me On A Sunday by Marti Webb
(I guess this song pretty much sums out now or what is bound to happen...)
I am feeling a certain feeling now.... a feeling I haven't had in a very long time. Something that I have forgotten and something I dread very much to feel. There is no word for it or perhaps I refuse to give it it's name. For naming it would be labelling myself of it's load. Don't you find it somewhat amusing that feelings can differ in so many ways... and that by experiencing it after such a long halt would bring back so many memories and tastes. I guess you can call the joy of reminiscing. But I guess in this case, it seemed much less sweeter.
So yes, I am feeling rather.... well.... *that*...
And I can tell you one thing for sure, the feeling sucks!
I am somewhat perfectly fine and yet I could feel the inside of my chest clogging up like I am about to burst! Either what I'm feeling is really a little screwed up or the expensive (yet bitter tasting) salad I'm trying to "chow" down now is really getting to me.
I feel like sobbing but at the same time am dried up in the eyes. What can I say.... my body has yet to re-stock from the previous teary melt-down.
I keep feeling it! And now... I feel like there's a load of fat clogging in my heart's major artery and pushing me into a cardiac arrest!
Okay... maybe that's a little too much... but I give myself that kind of pictorial impression (when trying to describe it).. :P
And here I am "chowing" down an expensive salad pulak! So much for being healthy and having a heart attack! LOL! Might as well gobble up McD before I "die" instead.
*Yuck! The bitterness of it!* ----> reffering to salad... haaha...
O Bacon, where art thou??? (Jared and Rawlins, I need you!!!)
Okay... a little side track here... let's talk about the salad now... Once upon time.....there was a generous aunt who loves to bestow lovely things to her niece... Lately, she has taken a peculiar act in placing a nice plastic case (with lotsa golden labels on) with fresh and 'pretty' looking vegetables in it. It wasn't something you usually see in the supermarket or market but more like it was from a fancy restaurant where they charge you the price of meat for it... (meaning the money you pay there for the vege can be enough to buy belony or bacon!) Get my point? Basically, she told me it was for me to "moo" (get the cow hint?) down for my health, talk about me dieting? LOL! And it was so pretty and all that whenever I open the refrigerator... I would just take a moment and admire it... :P Weird I know but it's not everyday you get to see such 'lovely' greenary. Anyway, tonight or should I say lately... I've been feeling really... bumpy. So tonight I've decided to chow some of the 'pretty' vege as it's late and I didn't want to over eat over my dinner and supper....LOL! Yes, when I am not in a good mood... I either tend to feast like an animal or squeeze my tummy. So feeling a little guilty that I already had supper... I decided to 'attack' the vege instead and made myself a simple yet 'pretty' looking salad. But then... so much for expensive, it tasted like pure bitterness! *Lesson... outside cantik tak semestinya dalam menarik* But still I finsihed my salad for the sake of it. :S
And maybe an ounce of my current feelings of *that* is minorly contributed by the salad. Either way, I feel like banging my head on the wall.... (random thought).
Currently Listening to: Tell Me On A Sunday by Marti Webb
(I guess this song pretty much sums out now or what is bound to happen...)
God bless people and take care!
