An Invinsible Shadow

Currently Listening to:

One Night Only

by

Jennifer Hudson

(OST: Dream Girls)

I just send my dad off.... well not to the airport but from the house gate to the cab. Feel kinda sad and emo. I'm already missing my dad now. Hampir menangis at the gate....

For those yang tak tahu, my dad is going off to Columbia Theological Seminary (CTS), Decatur, Georgia, USA for some seminary research thingie on AIDS/HIV (on theological studies) for 3 months (3 minggu also i rindu gila d). Actually before that, he is going to the UK first to visit some people and family, then to the United Nations Development Fund (UNFPA) Forum on Faith Based Organisations in Latin America at Bueno Aires (South America) before flying back to the UK and then only to the Atlanta, US. And then after that, he'll be flying off to Istanbul, Turkey for the UNFPA World Forum before going back to Georgia, US to complete his course. (THEN BALIK M'SIA!!!)

Yes, banyak tempat dia pergi and lama... and I will super miss him!!! :(

Sekarang also I rindu d... maybe cause seeing my dad off is kinda emo-ing (mum and bro at work today, only me at home seeing dad off).

Anyway... taps on the shoulder for me, I managed to finish my NMT 7 week internet diary today along with my LMS posting and response (Yiang, I reponded to your post!). I'm TRYING to start my 1500 word essay today, now or tonight... but I'm having some probs in starting or understanding what is needed to be writtten. I'm also having a blur moment in trying to read and 'study' all my pdf notes from LMS so that I won't write vacuous words in it (in other words crap too much). But reading week 1's notes is already susah and mind bottling... Let alone 4 more... haish... Macam susah je... :(

I really hope I can start (and hopefully finish) it tonight or at least till tomorrow's early morning...haha. If so then it will be a new surprise as it is not common for me to complete an assignment a day before the dateline (as said, I am usually super last minute-burning midnight oil-adrenaline kicking person). Anyway... all the best to me...haha.. and to those in my shoes.

Thank you Lord for everything, for Your faithfulness, grace, love and promises. I pray You'll bless and protect my dad overseas and be with Him always. Strengthen me in You to abide in Your word and will. Grant me the spirit of wisdom, knowledge and understanding as I grow more in You. I commit all into Your hands, Amen.

God bless everyone and peace!!!

HUGS!

The Blood of a Butterfly....

Currently Listening to:

Navras

(ending theme of Matrix Revolution)

by

Juno Reactor Vs Don Davis

I woke up feeling like a tuna fish that was about to be canned!

I felt horrible and the lingering of my previous night dream or should I say 'nightmare' still grasped me right to my bones. Yes, I had a 'nightmare'. A horrid and somewhat similiar nightmare that I constantly have. But nay, today's was far worst and I could still taste the bitterness of my dreams even in my awakening. I hate the feeling. I hate this feeling. This feeling which others may perceive to be 'sadness' but to me something much more. Something I can't put words into but only feel and suffer it in me. It's been a very long time since I felt like this and to be honest I hated it. I hate this feeling. I knew life would bring me back here again to experience this but I didn't know that time was so hasty.

It sucks! Big time. I feel as if my insides were infected with depression parasites and my heart numb from all that it took in fighting it. I want to block it all away. I want to fight it and eliminate it. But at the same time I just want to stand by there and watch it ALL DIE (along with her) !

Let His will be done...

Kisses on my eye lashes!

Currently Listening to:

Lao Shu Ai Ta Mi (Mouse Love Rice)

by

Xiang Xiang

(Courtesy of Joshua Kuan) :D

I've decided to blog now because I know tomorrow I'll be too busy to do so and I won't be "here" for the next whole week to even bother to get near a computer... Reason???

I'm flying off to Cambodia on Monday!!!!!

ANGKOR WAT here I come!!!!!!!

Yes, at last I have a chance to behold the biggest, longest, most unique ancient architecture of a temple in the world! I've been bugging me parents since don't know when.... haha and at last I can fly there to enjoy the rough heat and tideous walking (and of course Ancient Angkor)......LOL!


I am excited yet anxious.... in less than 48 hours... I'll be there!!! I can practically smell the moss from the ancient temple! LOL!

It's gonna be a long heaty walk but I can do it! Please don't pass out Philee Tan, you can do it!!!! Gosh.... I'm so happy and giddy too.... If you don't know better... I just love history, ancient history expecially. And since my mum cancelled the Egypt trip next year for this year's end holiday trip in the US, my dad decided (since AirAsia is so cheap) to take me to Cambodia to experience the Angkor Wat. I may not be able to behold the Great Pyramids of Egypt yet... but the enormous ancient temple of Angkor is still a pleasant replacement! *GRINS LIKE AN IDIOT*

My aunt said that it's a little wacko to go there in this time of the year (it's extra hot at this time there) and what's so nice bout walking all day under the scorching sun to view some silly old temple? LOL.... but to me... that is all and the only reason I am going there.... yes, to be scorched under the burning sun just to witness some ancient worn out temple all day (long walk too).... :P Can you imagine the histtory, culture and worth there?? I mean.... think about it... how can you not be awed by something so magnificent and beautiful? And at the same time be dating back so many hundreds of years? *Grins again* Just the thought of witnessing so much history rawly makes me go giddy!


I have yet to pack... :P but I'll make sure I'll TRY to upload the pics when I get back (cause I know I'll be taking a lot of pics).... which reminds me... I have so many pics to upload but my noncholant and lazy attitude always hold me back! So many previous trips, vacations, birthdays, meetings and outings with family, friends etc... are stacking up like no body's business. Hahaha... not including the random ones too.... Besides, I don't even bother to carry a camera much out now... But I am sure once I get back... I shall try to dump it all out....haha...

Strawberry coming around the corner (bad timing) and instincts tell me I'm gonna suffer a little extra (with cramps, back ache and fatique) while hiking the ancient temple! Again, note to self.... please don't pass out!!!!

I am defnitely gonna come back MUCH darker... and perhaps a little pudgier...hahaha... See how I'll look then :P

To my dear friends in Degreee.... I am sorry I can't send you guys at KLIA to Perth. But will miss you guys very much in Cambodia... To my good friend and buddy Meng especially, take good care there and God bless! Will miss you and know that watching movie marathons wont be the same without you. Do keep in touch and remember to 'write' once in a while, haha. All the best in Perth guys... !!!

Happy and Blessed 22nd Birthday to Jonathan Lai Tien Chi ... (wish first...haha)!!! God bless lotsa and may you have many happy returns! :D

Btw... if anything *ahem* happends to me in Cambodia... do follow my previous 'will' posted in my Friendster blog last time...teheee....LOL! To add some things... Jen, you'll get my Princess Coconut laptop... (just deal with the pink darling!) :P

Okies people, have a jolly good week ahead cause I know I will!! Hope the trip will be a blast of culture, history and fun! I pray that God will bless the trip and all of you too! Hugs! :D



"All praise and glory be to God for He is amazing and faithful! Thank you Lord for all Your blessings and grace. This is all from You and I am grateful of Your love and will. I commit this trip unto Your hands, may you protect us and keep us safe in Your arms. Let us be a blessing unto others as You have been unto us. Amen!!"

Blue bells of a song to strum it all away....

Memories are just memories

and the past will always just be the past.

"The future harbours no dreams of the past, only unexpected visions of His love." ~ P